


Farmer's Daughter

by MirmLovesHollstein_136



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Other, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-05-30 14:53:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6428731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MirmLovesHollstein_136/pseuds/MirmLovesHollstein_136
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla comes home from war to work for farmer Hollis, then she meets his daughter-Laura.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Farmer Hollis

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on fanfiction.net but I decided to post it here as well. I hope you like it and have a wonderful day! 
> 
> Also I didn't add it in the warnings but tw include PTSD and some violent flashbacks

Carmilla sat, her leg bouncing up and down in anxiety. In her hands she held the number. Her brother, Will, had recently told her Mr. Hollis was looking for someone to do some work on his farm. Carmilla was used to working on a farm. She had grown up on one. An apple farm, but she still had to work hard around the place. She sighed and flopped back on her twin sized bed. Will was letting her stay there while she settled back in. Back in to her home. Into the small town of Hendersonville, North Carolina. He had let her stay in her old room, even though it was small and super nineties kid. It still was HER room. When Carmilla closed her eyes, she could see it. The war. Bombs. The cold water washing over her as she wondered if that was her last day. If she would be pulled back up. If she'd ever see the annoying face if her best friend, Danny. Or that idiot, puppy dog Kirsch, who was painfully kind. 

"I know a doctor..." Said a voice drawing Carmilla out of her flashback. Carmilla glared at her younger brother. 

"Ever heard of knocking, Willy-boy?" She snapped, sitting up to look at him. Will rolled his eyes before stalking over and sitting beside Carmilla. She hated how he treated her now. Like a kid. Like a broken child. Carmilla fiercely shook her head. 

"I told you, I don't need to see a doctor," she lied, but as she said it she gripped the sides of the bed. 

"I know your trying to be big and bad-but a lot if Seals go threw this after going home. Especially if they'd seen what you have sis," Will tried, leaning in. Carmilla's eyes blazed,

"I don't want your pity Will!" 

Will shrugged like he had done his best and got up.  
"At least call Farmer Hollis. Okay? Promise me?" He asked leaning against the door. Carmilla looked down at the number written on a napkin. It's not like going there would change her life. She then made a show of getting out her phone and waving it at Will. He laughed and walked away. After a couple rings the call went to voice mail, 

"Hey! If you didn't get me I'm probably working-" the deep male voice was cut off by a females voice, "or fishing with me!" Then in sync they both yelled, "bye!" 

Carmilla rose her eyebrow, who was that his wife? Did farmer Hollis have a wife? Mentally she reminded herself to ask for his address tomorrow. She then curled up and fell asleep. That's when the dreams came.

/// 

"Get down!" Danny calls from somewhere behind you. Immediately you fall down as a bomb explodes somewhere next to you. A ringing starts in ears and you tell your self to get up. But you're paralyzed with fear. Your whole body just freezes. 

"Come ON, Karnstien!" Yells Danny. She's beside you now and pulls you up on your feet. That breaks you out of your spell and you force yourself to focus. The two of you run, bombs echoing across the land. Just get to the ocean. You guys were home bound then. You smiled thinking about home. About Will, and the Epic movie theatre. When Danny and you burst threw the trees onto the shore you saw Kirsch running in the water with his partner. You could hear the enemy behind you; bullets whizzing past your heads. Danny turns to you laughing at the thought of finally leaving. For once you smile back. You reach the waters edge and Danny's half way to the jet skis. That's when you feel it. At first it's just the impact that you feel. But then you see it rip threw the other side of your leg. A bullet. And you fall. Into the water. Into the darkness. You can hear voices. You think you see Danny and Kirsch above you, but you can't think straight. You're leg is crying out- you swear you're on fire and you're drowning. Dying? Is this dying? The darkness engulfs you and you close your eyes.  
///

Carmilla jolted awake in a cold sweat. When had she been covered in a blanket? She shook the nightmare away quickly and stood. The Rugrats clock on her nightstand read four-twenty. She usually got up at five anyway-out if habit, so she decided to stay awake. After she changed and ate a bowl of cereal she went on her morning jogs. The air was crisp and cool, predictable for mid October. Don't get me wrong she usually liked the cool air, it was comforting in a way. That day, however, she was glad she'd worn the SEAL's sweatshirt Kirsch had given her. It reminded her of them. Of what she _really_ considered home. 

When she got back to the house it was almost six-thirty. Will was awake. He sat at the two person table, a piece of toast half-eaten in hand. 

"'Mornin." He greeted, though his attention on the paper in front of him. Carmilla sat down slowly and Will looked up. 

"I'll go. Once. But if this doctor pities me-or-or treats me like a victim..." Carmilla started. Will gave a closed mouth smile, then said, his mouth still full, 

"You'll like Dr. Lafontaine." He then handed the girl a business card. Carmilla took it solemnly, and without a word she got up to leave. At the door she sighed, looking over her shoulder she asked, 

"Where does Farmer Hollis live?" 

Will smiled again. The smug smile he'd learned from Carmilla herself. 

///

Carmilla almost didn't go. It was about ten o'clock when she pulled into the gravel road. A sign beside the road read, "Hollis Acres" and for a moment Carmilla wondered what type of farm this was. The farmers property was huge and that was an understatement. To her left she could see horses grazing peacefully, while to her right were cows chewing on there cud. It was breathtaking (not the cows of course) 

At the end of the road was a white, double story house. With her undeniable smarts, Carmilla judged this house on the farmers land-as the farmer's house. Stairs led out to a porch that seemed to go all the way around it. With a small garden out front and a picket fence around it, Carmilla wondered if she'd driven into Mayberry by accident. On the porch were two rocking chairs and who she assumed was farmer Randy Hollis. Farmer Hollis was a fit man. He was tan and graying around the edges but all together looked good for his age. He wore a plaid shirt and old blue jeans, dusty boots on his feet and a cowboy hat on his head, he was the definition of "Southern". Lying beside him was a black and white border collie, who immediately started barking at the sight of Carmilla's truck. Farmer Hollis got up and clomped down the steps to where Carmilla was parked. Carmilla quickly got out to greet him. 

"Can I help you m'am?" He asked, shaking Carmilla's hand. Carmilla smiled at the tea in his free hand--south. 

"Yes sir," she said, "I'm here about the job? You needed some help on the farm?" The older mans brown eyes lit up and a smile split across his face. 

"Ahh-you must be Camella! Wilson's sister!" 

"Uh, it's _Carmilla_ and yes sir, I'm Williams sister," Carmilla corrected. Mr. Hollis just nodded and motioned for her to follow him. He turned toward the porch and clomped away. Carmilla hurriedly trailed behind him. Upon reaching the top of the stairs he turned around and plopped back down in a rocking chair.

"Right, right. _Carmilla_ -I'd love it if you worked for me!" Carmilla rose her eyebrows. Maybe people from Hendersonville were a bit _to_ trusting, he didn't even know her after all. But the farmer lifted a calloused hand for them to shake. So, hesitantly, Carmilla shook it. 

"You can start right now! That fence over yonder needs fixin' and I need someone to clean the horses stables-oh, and them cows need bring round. My girl, Shadow will help you with that," he grinned as the border collie stood up, hearing her name. Carmilla nodded before the man added, 

"Tools are in the shed, tractors in the back, and here," he threw her a water bottle, "Yer gonna need it," Carmilla politely took the water but figured she wouldn't need it-she was in the Navy for peat's sake-how hard could this be? 

By the time twelve had rolled around Carmilla was wishing she was back in boot camp. Not literally, but she'd fixed so many things in so little of time she felt dizzy. Ever time she finished a task something else seemed to be broken. She had taken off her v-neck, and thankfully she had worn a tank top otherwise she would have had a heat stroke. At that moment she was honestly thinking about quitting. Because how in the world was this worth seven dollars an hour? 

As she trudged off the large field and back to the house she saw a black truck pull up beside Will's white one. Farmer Hollis was standing on the porch, with Shadow beside him. Carmilla figured he'd have something else for her to do, but she'd be gone before he could get the words out. When she'd reached the stairs the truck was still there and no one had gotten out. The windows where to dense to see anybody but Carmilla figured that Farmer Hollis knew whoever was in it. 

"Oh, good Carmilla!" He smiled lifting his hands in greeting. Shadow barked and danced a bit as if she knew who was in the truck too. "Look I have another task for you-" Carmilla cut in,

"Listen sir, I am very thankful for the offer of this job but-," 

"-I need you to eat lunch with my daughter and I." Mr. Hollis finished, unfazed by Carmilla's interruption. 

"Daughter?" Carmilla asked and before another word could be said she heard a girls voice.

"Hey, Dad!" Carmilla spun quickly toward the voice. Behind her she thought she heard Mr. Hollis say,

"Carmilla, this is my daughter, Laura." Carmilla thought it couldn't get any hotter out there at a blazing ninety-seven degrees. 

She was wonderfully mistaken.


	2. Laura Hollis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! You guys are awesome! The response to this story was wonderful! I have up to ten chapters written on this so I'm not sure on an update schedule yet.I don't have a beta...so forgive the many, many spelling mistakes. Also tw still include PTSD and I probably need to add angst to the tags. This is a manly fluffy story but some of the chapters get pretty intense.

Laura Hollis. 

She had quickly introduced herself upon walking up the stairs. Never had Carmilla ever been speechless in front of a girl, but _this_ girl...She was beautiful. She had honey colored hair that cascaded down into soft curls, tan skin, and wonderfully dark eyes that shone when they caught the light. She wore white, very short shorts, a red plaid shirt, black cowgirl boots and a cowgirl hat. That cowgirl hat was something else. Carmilla didn't have very many turn on's but the cowgirl defiantly was on the list. 

Carmilla watched Laura whirl around the kitchen, making sandwiches, pouring lemonade, and quietly humming a song Carmilla didn't recognize. She tried to offer her help, she really did, but every time she did Laura would respond with, 

"Honestly-Carmilla? Was it?" She smiled, making Carmilla's throat go dry, "you can sit down." 

Farmer Hollis rolled his eyes, as he walked into the room, plopping down at the small table. Shadow trotted in after him, with what looked like a bunny between her jaws. The farmer reached and patted the dog on the head, ignoring the obviously dead creature now on the floor. 

"Don't bother with it Carmilla, she's just like her mother was. Never allowing anyone to help, I tell yah, Laura would break her back and still want to do things by herself." 

A laugh like bells rang through the air and Laura walked over somehow holding three plates. 

"Oh please Dad, like you'd even know how to make anything other then Ramen noodles," 

"Hey now," he answered, "I can also make macaroni," 

Carmilla smiled at the playful banter between them. She wondered what it was like to have a good relationship with parents...

"This looks great Laura!" Farmer Hollis complimented as Laura sat down. It drew Carmilla away from her dark thoughts. It was no time to think like _that_. Carmilla picked up the sandwich and took a bite. Damn. This was good. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had anything other then packaged  
food or fucking Vienna sausages. She had those so often and hated them equally as much. 

"Wow, this is _really_ good," Carmilla said. Laura blushed a bit, tucking her hair behind her ear. Cute. 

"Thanks. It's just a sandwich though, you should let me cook for you for real one time." She mumbled, a small smile creeping across her face. Farmer Hollis glanced between the two girls and cleared his throat. 

"So Laura, hon, how was Panama?" He asked, taking a large bite of his own food. Laura squealed, practically jumping for joy. 

"Oh my god, dad. It was amazing. Elsie said it was the best thing she'd done this summer and I totally agree. We went to a boardwalk and to this club that was overlaid out over the water, it was so great." 

So Laura was at least twenty-one. That was good. Carmilla was afraid she might have been a teenager. A teenager that was _seriously_ attractive.

"Oh," Farmer Hollis turned toward Carmilla. 

_Don't. Please don't._

"Carmilla! Wilbert said you were stationed in Panama for awhile. Near the end of your term. You were in the Army right?" 

Laura looked at Carmilla too. Instinctively, Carmilla wrapped her hand around her dog tag and had to physically stop her leg bouncing. She shook her head trying to focus on her surroundings, but everything felt like it was closing in. To close, to fast. 

"Navy sir, um-" She struggled to continue, "I was a Navy SEAL," She knew the words that would come next. Always, _always_ people glorifying her like she was a type of goddess for the shit she'd seen. 

"And we thank you for your service," Farmer Hollis finally said. There it was. Those empty words. Slurred and meaningless. With good intentions, but broken actions. 

Carmilla quickly shook her head again. 

"Uh...please excuse me." She winced, and dismissed herself. She found herself out on the grass, doubled over with hands on her knees. Her vision going blurry, as she struggled to breath. 

_Stay with me Karnstein-_

"Come on-breath dammit!" She huffed, her surrounding eyesight turning dark. 

_She's lost a lot of blood-_

Carmilla vaguely registered the screen door open and close behind her. 

"It's okay." said a soothing voice. It was muffled as if under water. Water. So much water. 

_Danny! I got here as soon as I could_

_Kirsch, they won't let me see her!_

_I'm sorry m'am but you have to stay out here_

_Like hell I am! That's my best friend in there_

"You're not in danger here," The voice said again, "You're safe. Here, look let's lay down so you can see the sky." 

Nobody touched her, but she laid down, the warm grass immediately bringing her comfort. Her thoughts cleared as she took slow, deep breaths. She wasn't in danger. She wasn't at war. She could see the clear, blue sky, so open and bright. 

_Dr. Perry, the bullet went straight through. It was a clean shot._

_You hear that Karnstein you're gonna be-_

"Do you feel better?" The calming, and gentle voice asked. Carmilla slowly turned her head toward the sound to see Laura. God, she was breathtaking. Carmilla noted she had specks of gold in her warm eyes and light freckles littered her nose. 

"Yeah." Carmilla breathed. Laura gave Carmilla a soft smile.

"Sorry about my dad. He sometimes puts his foot in his mouth..." The two lay together in comfortable silence. Birds would chirp ever so often or a horse whinny; it was nice. 

"How did you know?" Carmilla finally asked. Laura's gaze dropped as she turned to look back at the sky. 

"My mom used to get them...Panic attacks, I mean. She always reminded herself she wasn't in danger, then she'd lay out there near the weeping willow. It calmed her down so...I thought it might help you too." She finished shyly. 

"It did." Carmilla said simply, staring at the twisting, and turning clouds in the sky. If there's one thing she learned about being in the Navy it was to not push. People would share in their own time. Carmilla was surprised, however at how relaxed she seemed. Laura had just seen her in one of her most vulnerable state. Shouldn't Carmilla push away? There was no way, in less than an hour Carmilla felt this comfortable around this girl. But...she did. 

"I best go and help my dad with the dishes before he breaks something. You can come if you like. If you feel at ease." Laura said, getting up and stretching. She then reached out to help Carmilla up. 

"Thanks cupcake..." She paused at the nickname, "You, um, that really did help me and I..." 

Laura could tell Carmilla was uncomfortable and gently squeezed the hand she still held.

"Don't sweat it." She then turned to go back in the house. 

 

Farmer Hollis was very apologetic and even though Carmilla said time and time again it was okay, he insisted she take a piece of chocolate cake home with her. Laura smiled and waved goodbye when Carmilla said she had to be going. It was nice. It was new. It was... _peaceful_

The next day she had to go see Doctor Lafontaine but all of a sudden, she was _really_ excited to get back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it please leave a comment and/or kudos! Thank you! Also I'm on tumblr as miriammtthis so you should come talk to me! 
> 
> P.S. OMG I lost chapter two on this story and had to re-write it. O.O


	3. Enter the Doctor (Finally Ginger)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for why this chapters so laaaate! But I'll post tomorrow too if I can. 
> 
> first off: This chapter has zero hollstein in it. I'm sorry. But it is very important to the story  
> second:I have no beta so I'm sorry about la mistakes I made  
> and a lastly: I don't know everything about the military. I'm doing research but PLEASE bare with me.

"Um, Miss Carmilla Karnstein? Dr. Lafontaine is ready too see you." Carmilla looked up at the brunette behind the desk. She was pretty, and had been obviously flirting with Carmilla for the last hour. Carmilla could have her. But she wouldn't do it. Her mind was on Laura. Laura. Laura. Laura.

For the first time in the ten months after being discharged, Carmilla had slept with barely any nightmares. And it was nice-to finally some sleep. 

So maybe this would be good for her. Talking to someone. When she had Skyped Danny, she said she thought it was for the best. Plus, if Carmilla got her head figured out, maybe she could get her feelings in check too. She didn't have a crush on Laura. She couldn't. There was no way. Just because she thought about her all the time and her speckled eyes and the dimple in her left cheek or...stop!

Carmilla grunted and got up. She needed to snap out of it! Walking up to desk she gave her best smile. Noticing the blonde's name tag, Carmilla said,

"Thank you Natalie," 

She then pushed the door open to the main office. Sitting in a gray, one person sofa chair, was who Carmilla assumed was Dr. Lafontaine.

"You must be Carmilla," They greeted, getting out of the chair and offering their hand. Carmilla quickly surveyed her surroundings, mostly out of habit. Besides the single sofa, there was also a long, black sofa and a coffee table. It looked... _cliche_. The room was very open, with wide paneled windows. Allowing the sun to stream in. That was good. At least Carmilla wouldn't feel trapped.

"Must I be?" She asked, slothfully. She trudged to the long sofa, ignoring the doctor's still extended hand. They turned around and nodded to themselves as if confirming how this was gonna go. Sitting back down on the gray chair. Lafontaine pulled a hand threw their fiery hair, before picking up a clipboard and pen.

"Alright, Carmilla, I'm Dr. Lafontaine. But you can call just call me Lafontaine. I don't like getting too formal. I want you...to feel more like a friend here, then a client." They said, smiling. Carmilla frowned,

"You're not aloud to tell anyone right? What I say...you won't tell, my brother right," The doctor's smile fell into a hard line, proceeding to write something down,

"This is a safe place for you to talk Carmilla…" They paused, "However, if you talk about illegal activities, child, domestic or elder abuse or neglect, wanting to harm yourself or others, I am required by law to tell someone." Carmilla felt stress come off her shoulders. There wasn't self harm involved. Not since she lived with her mother.

"You don't have to worry about that." Carmilla said simply. It was true. She was past that part of her life. Lafontaine nodded and wrote something else down.

"Now lets see," They flipped through some papers, before continuing, "You were in the Navy...almost eight years? About to finish your minimum active training? Looks like you went to the Naval Special Warfare Training Center in Coronado, California." They rose an eyebrow, "And was known as the Honor Man? Of the class?"

A flash in front of her made Carmilla, knee start to bounce. Breathe.

_Hello, my name is Sargent Vordenberg and for the next six months I'll be you're number one. That means I'm you mammy, you pappy and your great grand-mammy. So...if you want to survive basic training alone. I suggest you listen to me._

"Actually, not a lot of women are in the Navy. It's practically unheard of. They say the training is to hard."

_I'm Danny. It's nice to see I'm not the only girl here."_

"What branch of the Navy were you in?" It doesn't say."

Carmilla's head snapped up. Her hand sorely clutched around her tags. She knew what she had to say. It was painful-lying to everyone. But for one-most civilians didn't know that women couldn't even be in the Navy SEALS. And for another she was sworn to secrecy of her actual missions. She was much more than a SEAL. She was a secret.

_Hey Ladybro's I'm Kirsch, but all my friends call me...well Kirsch actually_

_"And what makes you think we're friends?"_

_Oh, you'll find I grow on you!"_

"Carmilla?" Lafontaine repeated. Carmilla cleared her head,

"Yes?"

"Do you do that often?" Dr. Laf asked. Writing more in their notes, and eyeing Carmilla. Slowly, Carmilla nodded, keeping her eyes to the carpet. She was almost glad Lafontaine let her status drop. 

"Hmm... okay, I'm gonna write you a prescription." Carmilla, immediately tensed back up.

"Why? Because I have some type of-disease. Because I'm...I'm broken?" Carmilla snapped. Her shields all the way up now. Lafontaine calmly wrote out a prescription, and handed it to her.

"No. You have PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's common for soldiers who have been discharged or are even on leave. This medicine will help you sleep. And you're not broken Carmilla. You just forgot how to see yourself any other way."

Hesitantly, Carmilla took the paper. A buzz rang threw the silence

"Our time is up already? Wow, time flies." Dr. Lafontaine said, "Would you like to set up another appointment?"

Carmilla quickly got up and went to the door.

"I'll...think about it...thank you." and she left without a word. The clawing was back. The feeling of constant drowning. She thinks, what had taken that away? And she knows then. There is no more denying. She, Carmilla Karnstein has a crush on Laura.

"...Shit."


	4. The Odds of Yin and Yang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehh, did I say tomorrow, I meant Monday. To make up for it have a longer chapter. This one is one of my favorites I've written and kinda makes up for the major lack of Hollstein in the previous chapter. Also I hope you a lovely day~

Upon pulling up to Farmer Hollis' house the next day Carmilla found herself grinning. The same truck from the other day was parked outside. Laura's truck. Would she get to see Laura today? Her heart sped up at the thought. Catching here dopey smile in the rear view mirror, Carmilla quickly shook the feeling away. Today she was more prepared, wearing a dark tank top and black shorts. Her hair was placed in a messy bun and her dog tags placed under the top. She really didn't need another episode like the other day to go down. 

Sure Laura helped her, but she still didn't like the fact she needed it. Especially now Dr. Lafontaine had given Carmilla medication. So maybe she wasn't using it, but she didn't need to. Right? She could get over this by herself...

When she got to the bottom of the steps, the screen opened. Mr. Hollis walked out in his usual plaid button up, faded jeans and dusty cowboy boots.

 

"Carmella," he began, Carmilla really didn't have the heart to correct him either. He looked distraught, and face was pale compared to his usual tan skin. He looked sick, "listen; work is cancelled today." 

Carmilla couldn't help the disappointment creeping it's way into her head. Just then the screen door opened again. A sense of relief fell upon Carmilla as she saw the girl in front of her. If she was breathtaking before, Carmilla couldn't describe her now. She was in a light blue button up, dark short shorts, black boots and a brown cowboy hat. That damn hat. Carmilla really just wanted to push that hat out of the way and-NO, NO.

"Dad please-oh, Carmilla." Laura smiled. Wow, that smile could bring down rulers and armies. And Carmilla could definitely get used to hearing Laura saying her name. Laura looked between her dad and Carmilla.

"Dad I've got some work Carmilla could do...I mean she drove all this way..." She suggested. Carmilla couldn't help notice the way Laura bit her lower lip when she said it. Her lips looked soft. Soft enough to kiss, to bite, to-Nononono. Carmilla couldn't go there. It was then she realized someone had been speaking to her.

"-That okay with you, Camilla?" It was Mr. Hollis, his voice slow. Would Carmilla like to spend all day with a beautiful girl?

"Well I did drive all that way." She said, trying to sound nonchalant about it. She was really freaking out. It had been awhile since she was around a girl she wanted to get to know without looking for mindless sex, and Xena didn't count. Danny was basically Carmilla's sister. Or as Kirsch put it and "honorary Zeta" (Zeta was the codename he and his partner, Leo, had come up with.) It was stupid but it made Carmilla miss them. She'd have to Skype them later that night. The farmer smiled sadly and quickly turned to walk to the side of the house. Carmilla hadn't noticed the big, red pickup truck parked by the fence before.

"Oh," Mr. Hollis said, "I won't be home for dinner tonight, so feel free to order something."

Laura smiled before yelling out,

"Wibble-Wibble wubb-" the man grinned answering,

"-Know you are loved!" He then got in the truck and drove off. Carmilla rose an eyebrow,

"Wobble-Bobble what?" She laughed. Laura blushed slightly,

"My mother used to say it before she would go to work." Carmilla stopped laughing abruptly.

"oh, now I feel like an ass," she mussed. Laura softly smiled,

"Don't. It's still hard but, it happened five years ago...My dad doesn't particularly like to talk about it. That's actually were he went; to go visit...her grave." She trailed off. Carmilla nodded. Death was a thing she had to deal with constantly in the NAVY.

"Okay, captain." She said, "what's first?" Laura looked up her face turning incredibly red,

"I, um, actually lied. You'll still get paid but, I was going to go horse riding and, well, you were here and I kinda didn't want to be alone today," she looked up from her eyelashes and a shy smile played at her lips, "I mean you can leave now. You don't actually have to go with me. I know I didn't really ask," Carmilla pretended to think it over, tapping her chin,

"Ride horses with you or work in blistering heat, no contest there cutie." Laura smile widened,

"Good. Because I know you don't really know me and you didn't come here to make friends or whatever. I just think it's great that you're doing this for my dad-I mean I think your pretty great in general. Because it's an honorable thing and all to do what-"

"Laura, calm down," Carmilla laughed, "you'll hurt yourself."

Laura looked down a bit bashfully.

"I however, have never ridden a horse so you'll have to teach me," she smirked.

"Well riding is pretty easy-"

"Oh, I can ride, just not horses," Carmilla winked as Laura's blush intensified.

The smaller girl quickly turned to walk down the stairs and to the barn, leaving Carmilla alone. She liked making Laura blush. She liked making Laura smile and laugh. She liked...Laura.

//

Riding a horse was not easy. In fact it may have been one of the most difficult things Carmilla had done since being discharged. Laura gave her the easiest horse to ride. He was black with single white circle around his eye.

"I think he's like you. He has a mysterious past...one day he was just here in the barn," Laura had said. If anyone else had made an assumption about what Carmilla was like, she would have pushed against it, but it was pretty accurate. The horses name was Yang. Laura rode Yang's mate, who was white with a black spot on her back. Surprise, surprise her name was Yin.

 

"They used to be my parents'. But since my mom passed my dad doesn't ride much anymore." Laura had told Carmilla. The younger girl then gracefully pulled herself up into the saddle.

"Hold up there Cupcake, you haven't told me what to do." Carmilla said. She could feel Yang was uneasy with a new rider. Laura rolled her eyes playfully,

"You just stick your foot in the stirrup and pull yourself up." She shrugged like it was easy. Which it wasn't. After the third try and fail Laura couldn't stop the giggles bubbling from her mouth. She quickly got down and walked over to the dark haired girl.

"Okay you, start like you're about to get on," she said. Carmilla raised a fine eyebrow but went to get up. She figured she'd probably fall again when a hand pressed against the small of her back, pushing her the rest of the way up. A shiver went down her spine which Laura didn't seem to notice,

"Now swing your leg over there and you'll be all set." Carmilla did as told before she realised-she was one a HORSE. She hesitantly grabbed the reigns, and Yang huffed at her. She patted his neck,

"Easy buddy, let's be friends okay?" She cooed a bit more before making a clicking noise with her mouth. Yang immediately calmed down, and he toed the ground. Carmilla looked over to see Laura had mounted Yin and was staring intently at her.

"What?" Carmilla asked, slightly flushing.

"You're good with animals that's all." Laura said, simply.

"I worked with bomb dogs before I was in the Navy. I kinda took a guess with the horse." Carmilla answered. Laura nodded but didn't say anything else. She tapped Yin with the heel of her boots making the horse move.

"Come on then, let's ride."  
//

It got easier the longer they trotted on. Although, Carmilla couldn't help but notice _she_ was bouncing up and down and Laura was completely still. 

They passed by fields and a huge lake that Laura said she went swimming in sometimes. They also passed by a willow tree and found Shadow sleeping soundly under it. They then trotted by a swing; sitting beside it was a Gray tabby cat. It lay out on its side. White belly to the sun.

"That's Sprinkles-our neighbor's cat. He likes to sleep there for some unknown reason. He's very friendly though. But... the horses unnerve him a bit," Laura explained. When she called his name, the cat opened its big blue eyes, catching the eyes of who had just woken him from his nap.

"Come here Sprinkles!" Laura said. Sprinkles narrowed his eyes as if to say, _You can't honestly think I'm going to come to you when you're on that thing"_ After he had ignored her, Laura said he really _was_ a sweet cat.

"I'm starting to think you see good in everyone, buttercup." Carmilla mused thoughtfully. Laura looked down as they moved on, the horses going at a slower pace.

"My mom taught me to. She said there was dark and light in everyone. Like Yin and Yang. You just have to look harder at some people to see the good. But it _is_ is there." Laura sighed. Carmilla gave a gentle smile,

"Your mom sounded like a great person," Laura looked back, her honey brown eyes looking deep into Carmilla's chocolate ones.

"She was." Laura leaned over a bit, "she would have liked you. You would've tried to be quiet, and broody but...she would've made you feel special..." The younger girl said this in almost a trance. Almost as if she was saying it to herself. Snapping out of-whatever she had just been in, she beamed saying,

"Race yah," with another tap to the horse's sides sending it bolting forward.

"Hey wait!" Carmilla gasped, mimicking the other girls action.

She wasn't ready.

Yang took off, kicking up clouds of dust in his tracks. The wind whistled past Carmilla's face and she found herself laughing. It was such a freeing feeling. Like flying, almost. When she would round a corner she could just see, Laura taking the next. This went on for awhile, it was calming. Carmilla vaguely registered going upwards at one point but Yang never stopped pushing on. She could feel his stomach as he breathed in and out heavily. A thin sheen of sweat graced his soft coat and mane and foam ran down his neck from his harnessed mouth. Rounding another corner they came to a sharp halt, knocking Carmilla in her saddle. Looking down she noticed they were on a crest of a mountain looking down. The ranch panning far out to the horizon, where a blazing orange ball sat sinking in the sky. Carmilla breathed heavily from the adrenaline pumping through her veins, almost as much as Yang was. She then looked to her right and saw none other than Laura. 

Beautiful, Laura. She looked peaceful, gazing at the sunset. They sat in comfortable silence, Carmilla catching her breath and Laura appearing to thinking.

Eventually Laura spoke, 

"I think she was wrong," Carmilla looked over, Laura continued without looking back, "My mom. I think some people can be pure evil."  
Carmilla felt something. Who had hurt this girl?

"I think you're right. I definitely know some people who wouldn't think twice about hurting you. People assume it the people we're fighting against but...You'd be surprised about who you can trust and who you can't." 

Laura finally looked over, the sun made her eyes look golden.

"I know someone, who was stationed where you were."

"What was their name?" 

"Her name was Lola Perry. She was a doctor I think. Her partner is too I think-" Carmilla immediately recognized the name, Laura's voice drowned out...

_"Dr. Perry she's loosing a lot of blood. It might have been a clean shot but, she might not make it."_

_"Not on my watch SJ. Do you here me Karnstein? Not on my damn watch!"_

Carmilla shook the memory away quickly.

"Do you have those a lot?" Laura asked. Carmilla looked taken aback. Laura blushed,

"I'm sorry. That's none of my business. I'm naturally curious. My dad used to call me Curious George until...things got bad." Carmilla waved away the apology,

"It's okay. I...they've been getting worse. The memories. Sometimes I go into full relapse. Which is where..." Carmilla struggles slightly, "I can _feel_ it happening again." She closed her eyes, "but when I'm lucky, I'll only have a half relapse which is where I only see and hear things." When she opened her eyes Laura was eyeing her. But not with pity, like Carmilla was use to, but something else. Something kinder. More understanding.

"You probably get enough sympathy everywhere you go. And saying I understand would be a lie. I haven't seen what you have. Empty words mean nothing. So why say something I'm sure you've heard a million times. When my mom died, all anyone said was 'I'm sorry' they said it so much...it didn't even mean anything anymore." 

Carmilla found her heart swell with gratefulness. They rode back after dark and ate a pizza from Papa Johns that Laura had found in the fridge. Which- _wow_ had Carmilla missed Papa Johns. Then they watched Friends, until about seven and... it was _nice_. For a moment, Carmilla entertained the thought of actually being with Laura. Coming home to her. Eating take out, living in this small but comfy house and taking out Yin and Yang. Away. Far, far away from all the bad. From the PTSD and war and death... It was a nice thought. A broken thought, but a nice one.

When Farmer Hollis got back, he retreated into his room after thanking Carmilla for her "work" and excusing himself to bed. Laura walked Carmilla to her truck, Shadow in tow.

"Well aren't you the gentlewomen." Carmilla complimented, with a smirk. Laura rolled her eyes again,

"I try, but thank you." Carmilla chuckled about to get in her the truck when to arms were wrapped around her.

"Thank you for today, Carm." The smaller girl whispered, "I really needed it." She then slipped what Carmilla assumed was her paycheck in her hands.

"Anytime, Laura." she smiled, the scent of suntanning lotion shrouding her senses.

//

"Oh, Carmilla hey!" Will said when Carmilla walked in the door, "you stayed late tonight. I meant to tell you this morning but I didn't catch you. Today might have been a bad day to go work." Carmilla cocked her head after grabbing an apple from the fridge,

"Why?"

Will leaned forward slightly on the couch,

"You didn't know?" He eyed her when she shrugged casually, "today was the anniversary of Mrs. Hollis car accident. Today's the day she passed away."

Carmilla went to her room and looked at the envelop, along with her check was a note.

_Carm,_  
_Thank you again for today. I was really struggling with my mom's death more then I had let on. But it was more then that. You're sweet and kind. More then I think you think. You're coming back from the bathroom now so, haha, I guess I'll see you soon_

_Laura_

//

**Th'Squad logged in**

**(Catmilla) 11:20 pm "Stop -_-"**

**(D-bear) 11:22 pm "oh you know we're messing with you Karnstein"**

**(Bro) 11:22 pm "ye, its not ur fault you have a raging crush on little hottie"**

**(Catmilla) 11:30 pm "w/e I'm going to sleep"**

**(Bro) 11:57 pm "she ddnt deny it!!!1!**

**(D-bear) 11:59 pm "alright lets leave her alone. Love yah K"**

**(Bro) 12:00 am "ye dude, i love you like...a LADU BRO"**

**(Bro) 12:01 am "*LADY BRO"**

**(Catmilla) 3:45 am "Love you guys too"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm down here too yay! I would like to say, thank you for all your comments they mean a lot, I haven't answered them all but they are ALL greatly, greatly appreciated. Also my tumblr is miriammtthis so come say hey!


	5. Welcome to Special Ops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR THE COMMENTS AND OMG IM ALMOST AT 200 KUDOS AND THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME!! 
> 
> Also WARNING: This chapter is kinda angsty. I'm so sorry. Buuut it's kinda important, so tw for violent depictions of war, and also, I'm sorry again.

You're working with a new recruit, Chopper. The day has been long and tense but you always felt your best with the dogs, well _most_ dogs. 

"Find." You try again. The small, black German Shepherd looks up at you. He cocks his head and barks. You huff and pull the scarf out again, bringing it to the pups nose, "Chopper, find." This time, he actually starts walking off, nose to the ground. But, in the wrong way. You sigh and sit in the grass. Taking in the same surroundings you see every day. The small Dog Academy to your right, and the fence that surrounded the property always brought you comfort. Home. Better then your home at least. You think about Will and wonder if you should call him. Chopper trots back over to you, a stick in his mouth. You let your head fall to your hands,

"No, Chopper-the object is a hat. A _hat_ Chopper." 

The dog, looks happily up at you, and drops the stick. When Sera said Chopper was new, you had no idea it meant, _new_ new. Most dogs had basic training. You stand up and tell Chopper to heel. He at least knows that. You then walk to where the hat was hidden and bring it up to his eye site.

"See this buddy? This is the object that your supposed to find. See," you place the scarf beside the hat, "they smell the same." Chopper lets his tongue fall out and you frown. Just then the door to the Academy opens and Sera walks out, Luka close by their heels. Luka immediately runs to you, his brown mane of fur shining brilliantly in the sun. 

"Luka, sit," Sera calls. Luka freezes in front of you and sits down. You get up begrudgingly and go to pet the shaggy Rough Collie. You notice that Chopper seems to be hesitant of the bigger dog. 

"What's up boss?" You ask Sera, looking up from the pure bred. Sera looks uncomfortable, and pulls a nervous hand through their black hair. Sera, at the time was your best friend. You always thought they were beautiful. Not in a 'I would date you' way because, well you are super gay, but in an aesthetically pleasing way. They had dark skin and freckles on their nose. Their eyes were a striking green and hair usually in a bun. You'd seen them once before they went to the local Puja when they were dressed in a their Dhoti Kurta, but other then that, they often wear the same thing-the Academy shirt, shorts and sandals. You also respect them so much because right after you became a cop, they had hired you. 

Sera folded their arms over their chest, mouth in a hard line. 

"Not good news I'm afraid Micarlla." 

You tense up and pocket the scarf. You have a feeling you know what they're gonna say. 

"Your mother's on the phone. She wants to speak to you." They hand you a cell phone, that was currently the business phone (Your true business phone was broken) 

Sera nods at you and turns to go back inside. 

"Mother." You say into the phone. It's clipped and harsh and you know it, "Is it dad?" You ask even though you don't want to. Your mother sighs harshly and you can hear the tutting she makes when she's disappointed. 

"No, dear. It's not. Your father is fine. If you can consider working a hundred miles out in the middle of the ocean fine." She says in her sickly sweet tone. You try to not hang up right then and there. Fuck her and her criticism. 

"Then what?" You snap. 

"You can't work at your little dog place anymore," she replies, cutting right to the chase. Your jaw drops open. Not work at the Academy? Chopper looks at you, his ears shift as he senses your distress. 

"Why?" You almost whisper. This has got to be some sick joke. But no, your mother doesn't joke. 

"Oh Micarlla, you know not to mumble. But to answer your question, the divorce has taken a lot of money. And so sacrifices must be made. I can't keep helping you with your rent. As such you'll have to quite and come back to the farm. You can work for me." You shake your head fearslly. There was no way this was happening. You knew your parents divorce had taken a lot of money, but Mattie was going to Harvard for law-JP, was at the best Air Force school in the US-and Will the best Marine Academy. And you? You couldn't even have this? Your _one_ thing that makes you happy? But you know the real reason. Your siblings were straight. Your mother was always against you being gay. You could never get away from her. 

"I wont." You say. But you know, you have no choice. You cant pay rent by yourself. You barely could with the money that your mother gives you. 

"Micarlla, you're breaking up Sweet, but do be ready to come home by next week okay? Ta." The phone goes silent.

You sink to the ground, unable to keep the sobs in. You place the phone on the ground and then chuck the hat in your hands when the sadness turns to rage. You cry and cry and cry. Because it hurts so much that even when states away, you aren't free from her. 

Chopper butts you with his head. 

He brought back the hat.

//

You tell Sera. They aren't happy. In fact they're devastated and told you, you were one of the good ones. You don't really believe it but, you'd always seen Sera as a parental figure, so you took what you got. Especially considering your Dad being in the coast guard and always gone and your mom a raging bitch. A week. It goes a lot faster when you have to go back to hell at the end of it. You take all the time out of your personal life to spend time with every dog at the Academy. Jeffar, Nuck, Sneezy, Clark, Nat, Tails, Sniffer, Luka and yes even Chopper. Who had quickly crawled his way into your heart. 

You realize quickly that you'll probably never be this happy again.

//

It's Friday and an hour before you get off work. You're running the obstacle course with Tails, a tiny, red furred, Shetland sheepdog. While Chopper lays down on the grass watching. Since the first day, he hadn't left your side. Tails had her tail docked as a pup which gave her the name, but that defiantly didn't slow her down, she was your fastest runner. She could take down that course in under thirty seconds, and was obviously an alpha dog. Chopper tried to play with her _once_. Tails and you have an odd relationship. She seems to be your friend but in an almost taunting way. It's complicated and you're okay with it. 

 

"27.5 seconds Tails." You smile as the dog bolts over to you after shes finished, "You're getting slow." You tell her, and she seems to roll her eyes at you. The door to the Academy opens and you turn to look who it is. Two men, one African-American the other an older Caucasian, they both wore dark suits. You grunt at them,

"Well, well, what an honor to be visited by the Men in Black." 

You make the joke, because it's your defense. Neither even crack a smile, and you think that Will Smith is a lot less funny in real life. The men walk over to you swiftly, and bring out what you assume is ID. Tails and Chopper step in front of you and you know that these dogs and Sera must be your best and only friends. However, you're curious so you click your tongue and both dogs sit, but Tails is still on edge. 

 

"Are you Miss Karnstein?" The older man asks. You eye them wearily,

"Depends on who's asking," 

The dark one steps up and opens his ID revealing a badge you've never seen. 

"I'm Special Agent Parker and this is my partner, Special Agent Benz." 

The older man doesn't move a single muscle at his name. 

"How can I help you?" You say, a bit suspicious. Benz steps beside Parker and takes off his sunglasses, 

"We've been monitoring you Karnstein. And we think you could be very useful in _other_ branches of the government." 

"Oh yeah?" You simply reply. How else are you suppose too? It seems fake and your sure it is, but part of you is still curious. 

Parker does as his partner and takes off the shades, his blue eyes piercing and cold. 

"We want you to join the Special Ops in the Navy." And this time, you laugh. You laugh right in their faces because they can't be serious. They both look at you with unwavering expressions. Parker continues, "You will be put threw specific training, with only a few others, you will then be given your Unit and from there the rest is up to your captain." You stop laughing because, this has _got_ to be a joke. It's got to be. Why in the world would the military want you? 

"You can calm down on the joke there buddy. You lost me at 'I'm Special Agent Parker'." 

"I understand how you must be confused Miss. It's a lot to take in." Parker actually makes an expression. It's a frown, but still something. Benz finally speaks,

"Micarlla," He pauses at your name, "haven't you ever wanted to go? Just leave. Nobody has to know why, nobody has to ask questions?" 

_Yes_

You think because, by god you do. Benz hands you a card and the two walk behind you towards the road. 

" "You have twenty-four hours to decide." Parker says at the gate. 

"Wait!" You call. They look back, expressions still giving nothing away, "If I take this...is it paid for?" 

Benz almost smiles you swear it. 

"You never spoke with us."

Sera opens the door behind you and you turn to see Sneezy the white pitbull and Clark, the Golden Retriever with them. You realized your training time is up and the both of you are supposed to trade spots now. Sera raises an eyebrow, 

"Talking to the dogs again Micarlla?" They chuckle. You chance a glance behind you and as you figure, the men in black are gone. 

"You know me Ser, always am." 

//

When you say goodbye you tell Tails to take care of Chopper and the dog, as always, somehow gets it. You probably make it up, but you think she winks. 

You have to pull over on the side of the road to cry, because you don't want to leave the only family you know. So you cry. You cry until you can't breath. You cry until you can't anymore. 

You cry until you just...stop. The sadness turns to determination. 

And that night you call the number on the card. 

//

When you tell your mother you are going into the Navy (a lie you are required to tell from then on) she is unhappy. But doesn't seem to resist and you think she hopes the same for you as she does your father. 

That you'll die in action. 

//

When you get to Coronado, California, you are taken by Benz, to a building, far off into the desert. The first thing that happens is being asked by the Secretary for your name. 

"Micarlla Karnstein." You answer. But when the secretary asks if you want it to _stay_ as Micarlla, you say instead,

"Carmilla." 

And you think you see Benz smile again.  
//

Five people. 

That's how many are in the Special Ops training, and you find it is fucking hell. Like some crazy layer of hell that the 'special' fuckers go like you. You stand in a line with the other recruits and listen to your Sargent. Sargent Vordenberg, who you're sure you hate, has got some weird thing against you, but you think your okay with it. You're used to it anyway and it makes you stronger. Tougher. What you're not used to is what happens over the next few days; you get _acquainted_ with the five people. It starts with a giant of a man stepping in front of you and sticking out his hand,

"Hey Ladybro! I'm Kirsch!" He grins like a child, "but all my friends call me...well Kirsch actually." You try not to laugh at his humor even though it is funny, because it also kind of annoys you how one man-child could be so happy. (You find out his real name is Wilson, but he doesn't bring up yours so you don't bring up his.)

"And what makes you think we're friends," you answer, and his smile get bigger,

"Oh, you'll find I grow on you!" 

You feel sad then, because when he smiles your heart strings tug and you think of Chopper. 

The next is Danny Laurence, another very tall person. 

"I'm Danny. It's nice to see I'm not the only girl here." You agree, but you also think of Tails because you've seen Danny outrun ever guy on your squadron. When you start being sarcastic like always and she shoots it right back, you smile for the first time since you got to California.

//

You learn that Kirsch puts his foot in his mouth a lot. Like when you are all sitting around and he starts asking questions, which no one was supposed to do. He asks why you're there and you get mad. You think nobody will follow you when you storm off and you wish for the first time in months to have your dad with you. But when Kirsch and Danny stride right after you, you do something that, up until that point nobody else has seen you do, you cry in front of them and you feel like a wimp. You'd been crying so much lately you feel like a whole different person. 

"Bro's don't let bro's cry," Kirsch says, and hugs you. You don't shake him off because in that moment you need friends. You need Chopper and Tails and this is what you have. Danny nods beside you,

"The dude-bro is right. You may be an ass, Elvira, but you're also are pretty cool to hang with. So, we're here for you." 

And you wonder if this is what having friends the same age as you are. Being home schooled you'd never gotten the wonderful pleasure. 

You like it.

//

The first time you visit your old house, it's your birthday and it turns into the worst day of your life. Your whole family actually comes together and tell you they're proud of you. Your dad brings you a hand crafted music box from Haiti, and Mattie gives you a beautiful dress from Europe. JP gives you a vase from Africa, that has paintings of Jackals on it, while Will gives you a shirt that says, 'Asshole'. Things are calm for once. Until it happens. Your mother makes a move to stab you. To _fucking stab_ you. Your dad...he shouldn't have...but he steps in front of you and takes it in the side. Just like that you know, you must be miserable for your mother to be happy. Maman doesn't stop with your dad. She has this look in her eyes and you know she's lost it. Completely lost it. She tries again and this time Mattie attacks her. JP is trying to keep the blood in your father, and Will seems to be calling the cops. You hear white noise around you when you see the life go out of your dads eyes. 

And you wish you could turn it off. Feeling. 

//

When Kirsch comforts you, you try your best to feel better. And you know he is trying too, to make you forget. Though nobody knows why you have to keep going back home, they all seem to get you need some space. Kirsch however doesn't get the memo. 

He tells you life is shit. 

You know this, but hearing it from someone else is almost a comfort. 

// 

You don't go home anymore. Not for the funeral. Not on leave. Not during holidays. Ever. Eventually JP stops writing, and Will stops calling you. 

You're okay with that

//

A year later Will visits you, and you feel _bad_. He and JP are your little brothers and you did nothing for them. Will forgives you, he says JP is back over seas and he, personally, dropped out of the Marine training to go to take care of your dad's old house. In Hendersonville, North Carolina, otherwise known as the place you spent your summers as a kid. 

"I'm sorry," You tell him. Because you are. You are so, sorry. 

"Don't be, I told you- JP, Mattie and I, we forgive you. We each had our own ways of coping." He shrugs and you are so grateful to have him and your other siblings. 

He's leaving when he says it,

"I love you...Carmilla." it's the first time he says that; the I love you and your new name. You shove him, 

"Fuck off Will," He smiles because he knows that means 'I love you too.' 

JP starts writing to you again. 

//

Danny and Kirsch become your family, and you know you couldn't live without them. It's been eight years and you feel like you have changed from the person you were when you came into Special Ops. For better and for worse. You've defiantly become less naive, plus you see less good in the world. Especially after Benz is arrested for working with terrorists. 

It's your last mission before you get to go home. One more. You've been counting down, so you are ready to go. You want to go. You want to see Will and just _be_ home. Your mission is simple enough. Get in, get information, get out. That was before the bombs started falling and you realize someone from the inside had leaked information. It was an ambush. 

"Get down!" Danny calls from somewhere behind you. Immediately you fall down as a bomb explodes somewhere next to you. A ringing starts in ears and you tell your self to get up. But you're paralyzed with fear. Your whole body just freezes

"Come ON, Karnstein!" Yells Danny. She's beside you now and pulls you up on your feet. That breaks you out of your spell and you force yourself to focus. The two of you run, bombs echoing across the land. Just get to the ocean. You guys were home bound then. You smile thinking about Will, and the Epic movie theater. When Danny and you burst threw the trees onto the shore you saw Kirsch running in the water with his partner. You could hear the enemy behind you; bullets whizzing past your heads. Danny turns to you laughing at the thought of finally leaving. For once in a long while you smile back. You reach the waters edge and Danny's half way to the jet skis. That's when you feel it. At first it's just the impact that you feel. But then you see it rip threw the other side of your leg. A bullet. And you fall. Into the water. Into the darkness. You can hear voices. You think you see Danny and Kirsch above you, but you can't think straight. You're leg is crying out- you swear you're on fire and you're drowning. Dying? Is this dying? 

The darkness engulfs you and you close your eyes.

//

"Stay with me Karnstein." A voice above you says. You must be dead. You feel like you're on fire, so that's probably a bad sign. You try to open your eyes but it's too bright. You figure out you're being taken somewhere. Rushed at the sound of it. Then you hear Kirsch,

"Danny! I got here as soon as I could!" He seems frantic. You hope that the two of them aren't dead with you. A voice you don't recognize says,

"I'm sorry m'am but you have to stay out here." 

"Like hell I am! That's my best friend-" it's Danny but for some reason you don't hear the rest. You must stop breathing, because you jolt and breath fills your lungs suddenly. That's when you know you aren't dead. You must be in the infirmary. Someone beside you speaks,

"Dr. Perry, the bullet went straight through. It was a clean shot." It's SJ, you know it is. You know her voice from the time you found her in Kirsch's tent. Once, Kirsch had promised, it was only once. And you know Dr. Perry. Well, you'd met her once, you didn't hang out much around the infirmary. You remember she has lots of hair and it makes you want to laugh. You must have done something good because Dr. Perry says,

"Did you see that, her face twitched, she's responsive. You see Karnstein you're gonna be fine, just-" Did she say see? Or hear? But someone yells code and you take a giant breath in again. 

"Dr. Perry she's loosing a lot of blood. It might have been a clean shot but, she might not make it." Ah, so you could still die. And you're loosing blood which is bloody brilliant. You laugh at your own joke in your head. Another voice you'd never heard before praises the reaction your face must have made. 

"Not on my watch SJ. Can you hear me Karnstein? Not on my damn watch." You think she said can-but she also might have said do? It was getting harder to focus. You felt tired, that defiantly was a bad sign right? Everything sounded like it was under water. You think taking a bit of a nap will be okay, because you really are tired. 

Just for a minuet...

//

"Apples are coming in nice, don't you think?" You turn and see your dad. Your childhood rat terrier, Little Foot, sits beside him. You blink a bit, it's very bright out in the orchard that day. Your mother and fathers house sits far off on a hill, but no cars are in the drive way. Your father looks like Will and JP, strikingly so. When you think of him before his life ended you think of the worn down gray headed man. Here however, he looks young. Your age you'd even dare to say. His hair is still close cut to his head, but he doesn't have the crows feet around his eyes. He looks at you and smiles, and you think how nice he looks-without the weight of being in the military on him. The military which made his hair gray and his face droop. 

"Yeah," You say, "I suppose they are." He nudges you with an elbow and does the Karnstein smirk, 

"Want one?" He pulls an apple from no where and gives it to you. You take it, but don't take a bite. 

"Where are we?" You ask, because you wonder if this is really your home. It seems to peaceful. Your dad looks back over the orchard and squints,

"I don't know. Where do you think we are?"

Little Foot turns his head toward you, as if he's waiting on an answer as well. 

"I don't know. It looks like our old house...but you sold the house and land when you and mother got a divorce." You reply. When you take a bite of the apple you know it can't be your home because the apples are never this good. Your dad nods thoughtfully, pulling his feet to his chest. You see he's barefoot; you notice the same about yourself. 

"Are we dead? Is this...I don't know...heaven or whatever." You finally ask, you fear the answer. The older man chuckles and looks around,

"If this is heaven, I'd say the business is pretty dead." You laugh with him at his corny joke. It feels good to do. He goes serious after he stops, "I guess, I'm dead though, huh?" When you don't answer, he nods again, mostly to himself this time, "You've gotta go back." 

You look up suddenly. You don't want to. The thought is so violent and sudden you, can't decide on your emotion. 

"Why?" You question. He shakes his head sadly, 

"I don't want you to go, Micarlla. Honestly, but trust me. You'll want to. Things get better." But you can't think of leaving your dad again so you say,

"What about you?" 

"Fah," He says, "I've got your great-grandpa and grandma here. And your uncle Marcus." You wish you could meet them. You know that your dad's grandparents raised him and that your Uncle was KIA when you were five. Little Foot yips, so your dad finishe with"Oh yes, Little Foot too." 

"Is this a dream?" Is the next thing you ask. But he doesn't answer you, instead, Little Foot says,

"Carmilla, please! Open your eyes." 

Danny?

Your dad smiles a sad smile, 

"That's your cue kiddo-Come on Carm wake up!" He looks like he just burped when Kirsch's voice bubbles from his mouth. 

"Open your eyes!" Little Foot says again.

So you do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T LOOK AT ME. And yes, Mattie and JP, are prominent in the story. Also Sera was much needed and I love them. In the original Danny and Kirsch are also from Hendo NC but that didn't line up with the story so I changed it. 
> 
> tumblr: miriammtthis/WTFisThisBlog


	6. Painting and Poetry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals -_-. Thats all I got. I figured I wouldn't be able to post until my testing finished, but now, I'm done so UPDATE!! And FLUFF!!!

"You don't have work today right?" 

Carmilla had just come through the door after her morning run. She glanced at Will who had asked the questioned. He had that look on his face. The kind that meant he needed something. Sighing Carmilla flopped in the chair next to him. She didn't, that was true, but she was honestly considering going over to the Farmer's house anyway. Just to...well, to see Laura. Which by this point Carmilla had fully excepted the fact she was majorly crushing on the younger girl. 

"No." She finally said. Will's face lit up, and Carmilla knew she wouldn't be going to see Laura that day. 

"Do me a favor, please and paint the garage." He smiled a wavering smile. 

Carmilla's mouth fell open. 

"Paint the garage? Are you serious Will?" He looked nervous, avoiding her gaze. 

"I'm going to be out all day and it really needs to be done. Look if you don't want to do it, that's fine, I can cancel." Carmilla noticed the paint buckets by his feet. She mumbled before grabbing a handle. 

"Don't say I never did anything for you, dickhead." 

Will let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a squeal. He got up and walked out the door. 

//

It turned out painting the garage was worse than Carmilla originally thought. Thank god, everything was already out of the way, but beside that Will had done next to nothing to prepare painting the place. Carmilla was wearing her hair up in a bun, a black tank top and her old uniform pants. She hadn't worn them since she was discharged and kinda hoped she didn't have a flash back. She did not, but instead got an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. And not the kind she usually dreaded. She really did miss Kirsch and Danny. She knew she'd see them soon. But with such an unfortunate reason to see them...

"Knock, knock." Carmilla jumped at the sudden voice. She turned to see-Laura? Laura Hollis dressed in damn Liquor and Poker overalls, dark red vans and a white T-shirt. Holy. Fuck. 

Placing the nap roller back in it's bucket Carmilla smiled, trying to keep her voice from shaking as she said,

"Are you stalking me now cutie?" Laura looked down a almost sheepish. 

"No. I just...needed to return these jumper cables my dad borrowed from Will," 

Carmilla noticed the small girl was holding the cables behind her back. 

"Ah, so you didn't want to stop by just to see little old me?" Carmilla smirked as she sauntered over to Laura. The blonde stepped back, hitting the garage wall. A shy smile spread across her lips. 

"Well, maybe that's one of the perks...that I get to see you." 

Carmilla quirked an eyebrow, and raised her hand slowly. Laura's breath caught as she realized how close the two were. Without warning Carmilla poked Laura on her forehead, leaving dark blue paint very prominent between her eyebrows. Laura gasped, but giggled.

"You are so going to pay for that Karnstein!" She laughed. Carmilla laughed too, 

"Easy there tiger. How about you let me finish painting the walls before you start a battle you're not prepared to fight." 

Laura feigned being insulted, 

"Hey now, just because you were in the military doesn't mean you'll just _win_. This is the south remember, I could hold a gun before I could read. My friends and I used to go to the local paintball arena and duke it out." 

"Did you just use the word 'duke' in a sentence, cupcake?" Carmilla asked, picking the nap roller back up. Laura stuck out her lip in a pout. Cute.

"I'm just messing with you," Carmilla quickly backtracked, "You should show me your moves sometime," 

Laura blushed. 

"You would...I mean...would you be okay with that? The whole idea behind it?" 

Carmilla's jaw tensed. 

 

_"You can't be afraid of a gun forever Carm," Danny says it and you know she's right. Even being discharged from the war you had a target on your back now._

_You sigh and put down the glock. It feels familiar in your hand but it still makes you uneasy. The thing that ruined your and millions of others life, in your hands._

_Kirsch comes in at that moment, his child like grin on his face._

_"I got it," he says, "paintball,"_

_You glance at Danny. You've played paintball before and it's pretty trivial compared to actual war so you nod. As soon as you got out of that cast, paintball it was._

 

Carmilla turns, the memory wasn't bad. It wasn't violent. It didn't hurt. And it was new. She liked it. 

"I think I could bear it once. For you." She makes sure to add that last part and knows it was worth it when Laura's face lights up. She then smiled the way she did when she was on her horse. Her eyes squint and nose scrunches in a way Carmilla found extremely endearing. It made Carmilla want to write. 

Wait. _Write?_

Carmilla hadn't written poetry in...years. Nothing inspired her. When she got drafted all she could think to write about was smoke and fire and death. Because that's all that surrounded her. But in that moment she wanted to write about the sun being put to shame by this girl's smile. About how her eyes were swirling and endless, and less Carmilla wanting to get lost in them and more she wanted to be found in them. To see the wonders that were Laura Hollis. Who's laugh could've brought down empires and who's beauty would put all the Greek and Roman goddesses to almost mortals. 

"Um...Earth to Carmilla. You in there?" Laura asked waving her hand in front of Carmilla's face. Carmilla shook her head. 

"What did you say? Sorry?" 

"I was _saying_ , 'do you want help painting?'." Laura chuckled. Before Carmilla could say a word, the younger girl was unbuckling the buckles of her overalls and wrapped them around her waist. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. Carmilla had to turn around. It was not a t-shirt. It was very much so a crop top. Very, _very_ much so. 

_'Get your act together Karnstein, your not a thirteen year old boy'_

"Of course," Carmilla grunted. And handed a brush to Laura without actually looking at her. 

"Oh? No fight that you'd like to do it on your own?" Laura cocked her head. Carmilla swallowed down any...feelings she had. Turned on or not, she was not going to act like a damn teenager. 

"It's easier when I just agree with you," She said finally. Laura raised her eyebrows,

"Are you okay Carmilla?" 

Laura turned to the wall and started painting. Carmilla snickered, 

"Oh so something must be wrong if I agree with you," 

Laura playfully wiped her paint brush down Carmilla's arm, completely ignoring the question. Carmilla bit her lip before lunging with the roller. 

Painting could wait. 

//

They sat in the bed of Laura's truck when it came tumbling out of Carmilla's mouth, 

"I get my purple heart this Saturday." Laura looked over curiously but didn't push, "If you...like want to come to the ceremony...or whatever." Carmilla shuffled uncomfortably. 

"It's probably gonna have shitty food, but I mean, you get to see me in a uniform so..." She jokes because it's her natural defense. Laura places her pinkie over Carmilla's. She gave her the smile Carmilla liked best. 

"I would love too." 

Right. That made one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short I know forgive me!! I'll post soon though. 
> 
> tumblr: Miriammtthis or WTFisThisBlog :D


	7. Getting Their Shit Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boop! Update! Do have a lovely day! <3 
> 
> whispers* it _is_ rated m

Five days until Carmilla's ceremony. She was closing in on a month of working for Farmer Hollis, and Carmilla found herself spending more time with Laura then she'd spent with anyone else in awhile. While Carmilla worked, Laura would sit close by. They'd talk about everything. Dreams, goals, religion, politics and just life in general. Carmilla found out Laura was very, very gay and though her father and mother were Baptists, they had excepted Laura with open arms.

On a particular day, a Sunday, while the Farmer was at church, the two girls found themselves under the Big Willow. Carmilla pulling weeds from the ground and Laura relaxing against the tree. Shadow lay beside her, head on paws. Her miss colored eyes closing slightly. Carmilla laughed at what Laura had just finished saying.

"No! It's true! The first guy I kissed spewed milk on me! While we were kissing!" Laura giggled.

"Sorry cutie, that sounds horrible! Did you date him?" Carmilla asked, wiping her hands on the muddy jeans she was wearing.

"No way! He, for one was a terrible kisser, obviously. And he also was a boy, so, moral of the story? Don't play spin the bottle at a middle school party," Laura supplied. They stayed in silence for a moment before she spoke again, "he wasn't even the reason I played."

Carmilla turned completely toward the younger girl now. Laura looked amazing, as per usual. She was in light colored jeans and a striped shirt. The sun was doing incredible things to her eyes, making them shine with vibrant color. Laura looked back at her and smiled (which was much brighter in Carmilla's opinion) ,

"I was playing because this girl I had a crush on was playing. God, I was so ridiculous, she was painfully straight."

Carmilla clicked her tongue, as she pulled out a tough weed.

"That's sucks, Cupcake. Straight girl crushes are the worst." Laura laughed,

"Yeah...anyway! What about you? How was your first kiss?" Carmilla looked down, smiling at the memory.

"Amazing-actually." She looked back at Laura, "I was fifteen...in a closest believe it or not, " Carmilla chuckled, "it was at camp and...it was everything I could have asked for...we dated actually... for a while..." She looked to Laura suddenly, walls going back up, "but you know, all things come to an end so..." she was grateful when Laura didn't push. She didn't often talk about her romance history. Laura looked out over the large cornfield.

"Done," Carmilla said with a huff. She stood up and went to go sit with the younger girl. Laura sighed and looked over, into Carmilla's eyes. Looking away before she did something stupid, Carmilla began to fall asleep. A light wind had picked up, temporarily taking away the heat of day. 

"Hey," Laura said, softly tapping Carmilla with her foot, "Did you ever see the movie Inside Out?" Carmilla opened one eye.

"The kid's movie?"

"It is not a kid's movie!"

"Whatever you say sundance. To answer your question, 'no' I haven't seen it," there was a pause. As of Laura was thinking of what to say next.

"It's playing at the Carmike today..."

"Carmike? The sketchy as hell movie theatre?" Carmilla asked trying to stifle the smile dancing on her lips. Laura scrunched her nose, and slightly shoved the older girl,

"Ugh! Why do you have to make this so hard! Is it so difficult to ask a friend to go to the movies!" She groaned.

"Are we friends?" Carmilla smirked, she loved pressing Laura's buttons. Laura's face fell a little, pushing some stray hair behind her ear, she mumbled,

"Well, I mean...I hope so..." Carmilla looked back beside her. The insecurity in Laura's voice made her heart hurt.

"Hey come on. Laura, you know we're friends." She paused, "you're probably my only friend here. All my other friends are still in the Navy." She heard a slight sniffle from the small girl. Flopping her head against the tree Carmilla groaned,

"When did you say that movie was?" this girl was gonna be the death of her.

//

"So you've got a date I'm not judging you!" Will said from his room. Carmilla snarled, pulling on her combat boots and dog tags,

"It's not a date, William! It's just... friends hanging out!"

Will walked to the sitting room were Carmilla was getting up and grabbing her keys.

"Did _she_ say that?" Will asked. Carmilla opened the door to the house.

"Yes she did, so leave it alone." Before she could close the door, Will called out,

"Carmilla...we should talk when you get home..." 

But Carmilla was already out the door.

//

"Wow, you look great!" Carmilla complemented when she saw Laura outside of the theater. The young girl was in a white sundress, with purple flowers at the hem. She wore the same hat from the time the two went horseback riding and tan boots. Carmilla didn't know what it was with that hat but it made Laura ten times hotter, which was saying something.

"Thank you!" Laura grinned, " You're not too bad yourself, _cupcake_ ," She giggled, putting on a pretty good impression of the brunette, "Come on, let's go in so we can get good seats,"

Carmilla rolled her eyes,

"It's Carmike, Cupcake, nobody's gonna be in there."

//

The movie was sad. Probably one of the saddest Carmilla had seen since in a while. Laura cried, and leaned into Carmilla when she did. That damn imaginary friend part made her tear up a bit too, if she was being honest. As the walked out, Laura casually slipped her hand in Carmilla's. It was soft and warm, and-oh god what was this girl doing to her?

"But what the fuck _was_ that?" Carmilla was saying, "that was not a kids movie! That was real life shit!" Laura laughed as they strolled to Laura's truck.

"Aw, did little Carmy get choked up in there? Did you have a traumatic childhood!" She teased, leaning against the dark vehicle. Carmilla flinched, but brushed it off, Laura didn't know,, so instead she chuckled,

"I didn't exactly have a Bing Bong or whatever his name was... _but_ I did have a dog named Little Foot."

Laura looked a bit stunned that Carmilla had opened up so much. 

"He got run over though so...yahknow. Shit happens."

They were still holding hands and Laura rubbed her thumb over the back of Carmilla's. 

"Well thank you for telling me." 

Carmilla nodded solemnly. She didn't mention the fact her maman was the one that ran over Little Foot. 

Carmilla also hadn't noticed until now how close they were. Close enough to see the gold in Laura's eyes again. Even under a shitty street lamp she looked gorgeous. 

In the back of Carmilla's mind, she wondered if maybe Will was right. _Was_ this a date?

"I had fun," Laura said softly, swinging their arms between them. Carmilla grinned, glancing at the girls lips. It wouldn't take much. Just a small movement forward, and they'd be kissing. Man, she wanted to kiss Laura. To taste her, to make her breathless, to hear her gasping over and over into the night, saying-

"Carmilla." Laura asked, snapping the ex-soldier out of her daze. Good thing too, "I was saying we should do it again," Carmilla nodded and turned to go get Will's truck. With a dash of courage she spun back around yelling out,

"Hey, Laura?"

Laura looked up, one leg in her truck.

"Yes?"

"If you don't mind me asking...what was tonight...like...what _was_ it?"

Laura gave a shy smile and shrugged,

"I guess whatever you wanted it to be. I mean, yahknow, I know what I wanted it to be." and with that she got in her truck. Pulling away. As she drove away Carmilla was actually stunned into silence for only a millisecond. After which she turned on her heals and whistled to the tune of Frank Sinatra's, "Fly Me to the Moon".

//

Her mood lifted even more when she walked into her childhood home and found someone she hadn't seen in a long time. Standing up from the couch, Carmilla's sister held her arms wide open,

"Mattie?" Carmilla gasped, hugging the older girl tightly.

"And if it isn't my bella, Micarlla!" Mattie practically sang.

"Mattie you know it's Carmilla know...and what are you doing here? I thought you were in Italy for the summer?" A crease was donned between Carmilla's eyebrows as she asked. Will walked in at that moment, folding his arms across his chest. He looked tired with dark circles around his eyes and he was wearing their father.s Coast guard tags, which meant he'd had a rough last couple of hours.

"...just here on some...lawyer business," Mattie said. Carmilla raised an eyebrow. Mattie hated their childhood home almost as much as Carmilla and she just came for business?

"What's going on. Will are you okay. It's not JP is it?"

Mattie and Will shared a glance and it was only then Carmilla noticed that Mattie looked tired too. Her usually flawless hair a bit untamed and her usually perfect posture and suave was reduced to a slight hang of the shoulders . Will sighed and took a deep breath, 

"JP's fine sis. Mattie just has to stay here for a bit. Why don't you get some sleep."

It was weird and Carmilla should have pushed for more information, but she was still on her high from being with Laura, and whatever Will and Mattie were hiding they clearly weren't going to tell her. 

"Okay then you weirdos. I'm gonna turn in early. I've got work tomorrow so...night."

//

"Carm. Carm wake up." 

Carmilla opened her eyes, into darkness. 

"Laura?" She said sitting up, and turning on her lamp. Laura crouched on Carmilla's small bed. Her eyes were dark, and she bit her lip. 

"I can't get you out of my head," Laura said, crawling forward slowly. Carmilla gulped as Laura got closer. 

"Yeah?" Carmilla said. Because that's really all she could. Laura had finally reached the top of the bed. She reached out and touched Carmilla's face. 

"Mhmm. You and your stupid smirk." Laura was whispering now. She leaned in connecting their mouths and a moan broke from Carmilla's throat. God, this was everything she imagined. The kiss became desperate as Laura bushed Carmilla back, ripping open her shirt. 

"Holy fuck." Carmilla tried to say but the ending was interrupted by Laura's mouth again. Laura then leaned back on her heels and pulled her own shirt over her head. 

Carmilla leaned up on her elbows, sucking slightly on Laura's neck, hopefully leaving dark spots in her wake. 

"Oh Carm." Laura groaned, rolling down her hips. Apparently things were going to slowly for Laura, as she took Carmilla's hands and placed them over her chest, "please, touch me." 

"Are you sure?" Carmilla asked. She knew Laura had just said, but she needed to be sure. Laura's eyes flew open they looked like black orbs. She rolled her hips again, 

" _Please_." She said again. Carmilla kneaded at Laura's breast. Wait?

"Why weren't you wearing a bra?" Carmilla questioned. Laura looked down at her chest then back up,

"Well this is a dream." 

What.

//

Carmilla gasped awake, sweat covering her from head to tow. Her hand was down her boy shorts, and they were completely ruined.

"What the fuck?" Carmilla spoke into her cramped, _empty_ room. She hadn't had a wet dreams since...well since she was probably sixteen. 

 

Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr- http://miriammtthis.tumblr.com/
> 
> I changed Ell from Laf's secretary because PLOT!


	8. Paintball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Violence(It's paintaball) and graphic depictions of war

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRRRY! But I am on holiday rn and I've been meaning to find time to update. Thank you to the two anons btw, I love hearing from you guys! have a lovely day <3

A knock shook Carmilla awake. She rolled over and looked at her clock. Nine-thirty am? She slept in? She actually slept in? Another knock rang loud threw the small house. 

"Alright, alright!" She called out. Getting up, she pulled on some pants and Kirsch's SEAL sweatshirt. When she walked out to the door, she looked around and noticed the house seemed cleaner then before. Right, Mattie. Carmilla had totally forgotten her sister was there. What with the dreams she'd been having the last couple of days. She hadn't seen Laura since going to see Inside Out and honestly she was a bit hesitant. The dreams had been getting more...vivid and seeing Laura...Well, let's just say it would take Carmilla everything in her body not to kiss the younger girl. Carmilla's purple heart ceremony was the next day, so seeing the tiny gay was inevitable. One last, very loud knock came from behind the door making Carmilla swing it open saying,

"What do-" Two large arms wrapped around her, lifting her in the air, " _Kirsch?_ " Carmilla gasped. 

Setting her back on the ground Kirsch smiled happily down at her. Behind him stood Danny. They were both dressed in their blue's and had their bags strapped on their backs. Danny stepped up and hugged Carmilla too,

"We missed you Karnstein." She said. Carmilla blinked. Was this real? 

"I thought you guys were supposed to only be here for the ceremony tomorrow ?" Carmilla asked. Kirsch shrugged, his smile never fading.

"We wanted to surprise you when you walked out by saying surprise but _someone_ , didn't get the memo." Danny frowned. Kirsch jumped up and down, waving his hand in the air, 

"Oh oh oh-I love guessing games...Is it...Carmilla?" 

Danny and Carmilla both looked at the tall man. Carmilla rose an eyebrow. 

"Wow, have I missed that. And you guys."

Kirsch still looked confused but Danny nodded in understanding. 

"Um, please come inside?" Carmilla said awkwardly, never had she ever been on this side of the door. Literally and figuratively. The two SEALS had to duck to get under the small thresh hold and inside to the house. 

// 

To be honest Carmilla thought it would be awkward. The last time she saw Danny and Kirsch face to face she had snapped at them. She was angry and bitter at the world back then, and it was easy to push them away. They, of course, didn't go far. They just stepped back and gave Carmilla the space she needed. When Carmilla had realized she was being a dick, well, she quickly apologized. The two, changed into there casual clothes, which weren't very casual, mind you. Boots, khakis and a SEALS shirt. In Special Ops, they had been encouraged to pack as little as possible. 

After changing Kirsch situated himself on the couch while Danny sat on a love sofa. It looked pretty comical to see these two very tall people sitting in Carmilla's living room. 

"Would you guys like a drink or something?" Carmilla asked. She stood at the door of the kitchen watching Kirsch try to get comfortable and Danny staring at him like he'd lost his mind. 

"Yeah, defiantly! I'll take a beer!" 

"Kirsch."

"Oh, right, sorry D-bear. I'll have a water." 

 

Carmilla furrowed her brow but got Kirsch water anyway. Sitting down beside Kirsch, Carmilla turned to Danny,

"New rule"

"What's that about?" 

They laughed as their words over lapped. Danny paused before continuing,

"Vordendick just told us yesterday. No more alcohol." 

Carmilla rose an eyebrow,

"Okay, but you're here. It's not like they're watching us," she said, leaning her elbows on her knees. Kirsch looked away, suddenly very interested in the bare wall beside him. Danny sighed and ran a hand threw her hair,

"Yeah, K, about that-"

A phone's vibration cut through the air, stopping Danny from whatever it was she was about to say. Carmilla, looked down, and pulled out her phone.

Laura.

She quickly picked it up, 

"Hey Laura, you good?" _You good?! Really_

The stress Carmilla had been feeling before, quickly faded away when Laura's laughter floated through the line. 

"Did I wake you?" She giggled. An uncontrollable smile broke across Carmilla's face. She looked up and caught Danny and Kirsch watching her. Kirsch had the stupidest grin on his face and Danny, well she just looked to smug. Carmilla scowled at them. 

"Is that the little hottie you were telling us about?" Kirsch asked in some form of a whisper that was _way_ to loud. Carmilla shushed him.

"I've been awake for a while, cupcake. What can I do for you?" The smile was already finding it's way back on Carmilla's face. Danny was laughing at Kirsch who was making unnecessary moans in a high pitched tone,

"Oh _Carmilla_!" He said loudly. Carmilla's eyes widened. 

"Carm, are you alone?" Laura asked. Carmilla got up, flicking off her old team mates before walking into her own room. 

"Yes, I am now. That was just...my friends." 

"Oh," She could hear Laura's face fall, "maybe another time then." 

" _No_. Um-no it's fine. They don't mind." Carmilla said hurriedly. She hoped whatever Laura was going to ask was somewhere they could be outside, and preferably not anywhere that Carmilla could potentially push Laura against a wall and kiss the ever living daylights out of her. If she was okay with it, that is. 

"I was just wondering if you wanted to do that paintball thing today? Maybe grab some dinner after? I mean if you want to. If your uncomfortable with it that's fine too." Laura rambled, stumbling slightly over her words. Carmilla looked at Danny and Kirsch through her bedroom door way. Danny smiled and Kirsch gave her a thumbs up. 

"That sounds great...how would you feel if I brought a couple extra people?" Carmilla asked hesitantly. 

"Sounds great! As long as you remember to bring your A game too." Laura squeaked, unable to hide the excitement in her voice. Carmilla chuckled darkly,

"Don't you worry Cutie. I have no intention on doing anything less." 

//

Convincing Danny and Kirsch to go to the paintball arena was quite a bit easier than Carmilla had figured. She thought maybe they'd like to take a brake, but the two had immediately jumped at the idea. 

The two SEALs meeting Laura was...cringe worthy. Kirsch did not hold back on the hugs and telling extremely embarrassing stories from Carmilla's time in the Navy...at least, the stories he was aloud to disclose. They all took Will's truck and Carmilla couldn't fit a word in edge wise, except for telling Laura she looked good. Which _she did_. Laura was dressed in a long sleeved shirt, black pants and Timberlands. When Kirsch had tried to ask if Laura had dressed up for someone Danny finally _finally_ shut him up. 

So that's how Carmilla found herself at Wolverine Paintball Park, a paintball arena she'd passed many times but never ventured in. A beefy man stood in front of the four friends. He wore the bottom half of a poorly made ghillie suit. Ugh, it was one of those men, the ones who were incredibly obsessed with the idea of war. Until they were given a sniper and told to shoot a seemingly unarmed child...everyone romanticizes it until they get behind the gun. Carmilla shook away the dark thought, and listened to the man explain the rules. There were at least four other people there who they had been put with. Carmilla didn't bother to learn their names however. She just needed them to be good at listening 

"My name is Teddy! But you can call me captain Ted." Kirsch waved his hand in the air again, 

"Ooh, oh, what branch?" Teddy looked up at Kirsch liked he'd lost it. 

"Branch?" Danny laughed and shook her head, 

"Excuse Kirsch, he's an idiot. He meant of the military, but he also never seems to get this is a game." Kirsch looked nodded his head excitedly. Teddy frowned. Carmilla took the time Kirsch and Danny were talking to Teddy to speak to Laura,

"You really do look good today." She smiled at the smaller girl. They had already been suited up, and the company didn't have Laura's exact size so her helmet slumped slightly on her head. 

"As opposed to ever other day," Laura teased, poking her tongue between her teeth. God, Carmilla just wanted to kiss Laura. She hadn't noticed until then they had leaned closer to each other.

 

"You look amazing everyday trust me. Sometimes I just tell you." Carmilla shot back. Laura scrunched her nose the way she did when she got aggravated.

"Hey, you two loves birds," Danny interrupted, "we're kinda trying to listen to Teddy here." 

Carmilla turned with a huff, and face the beefy man again. Laura had stepped so close, however that there arms brushed against each other. 

"Right, anyway. There are a few rules you gotta know before you go in there. I have to tell you because it the law. Players eliminate each other from the game by hitting their opponents with a paintball that breaks upon impact and leaves them visibly marked with paint. Rules on how big a paint mark must be to count as a hit vary, but a paint mark from a paintball that breaks on some other object before striking a player, referred to as splatter, generally does not count as a hit. Once a player has been marked, they are eliminated from the game. Most fields consider hits on any body part, clothing, gear, or object the player is carrying or wearing as an elimination. This includes the marker, backpack or an object picked up from the field, such as a flag or a pod. If you think a paintball hit you but you're not sure you can always say, 'I'm hit' but after that you are outta there."

Carmilla was already creating a strategy in her head. In that moment everything came rushing back. Her training, her mindset, her know how. It was like riding a bike. She observed the arena, while Ted finished explaining the rules. A dusty desert terrain. Good. No water. Her breath became ragged as her mind tilted towards a flash. Before the vision could engulf her and soft hand slipped into her's. She looked over at Laura who seemed to still be paying attention to Teddy. It immediately relaxed the brunette. 

They were playing tournament. Which was a basically like capture the flag-except for you got shot with paint. And it usually hurt. A lot. But nothing like a real bullet. Nothing could mimic that feeling. The feeling of fire. The numbness that spreads through the rest of your body...

"-Now choose teams and we can start this thing." Teddy said gruffly. Kirsch, without hesitation grabbed Laura's arm. Laura looked back at Carmilla. Carmilla smirked, 

"Prepare for war creampuff." Laura re-situated her paintball gun. The sight worried Carmilla a bit about how she, herself, would hold up in there, but then Laura smiled,the one that made her eye's crinkle and nose scrunch. 

"Don't hold back." The tiny blonde actually said this to both Carmilla and her partner. Danny through her head back and laughed,

"Feisty huh? Well you got Kirsch so I wouldn't get cocky yet." 

That was one thing Carmilla was happy about. Her friends getting along with Laura. Regardless of Carmilla and her being in a weird, lack of communication thing, she was honestly glad they all got on so well. Teddy walked backwards off the field.

"First one to steal the others flag and bring it back to their base. Wins. Good luck teams." 

Carmilla and Danny along with the rest of their team ran to their base, and it felt...real. Not exactly in a bad way, but it was almost welcomed how easy her and Danny fell into step with each other. Or how they could talk without using their words. Over the years they had been partners Carmilla and Danny had come up with their own version of hand signals. The horn went off and Carmilla snapped into a version of her she hadn't been in a long time. She was like a machine, though a bit rusty, still accurate. 

"Okay. Do you want to guard or do you want me to?" Danny asked, as they leaned against a wooden barricade. Carmilla shook her head and cocked her Spyder. 

"No need." The gun made a hiss, "We'll take them out then get their packaged." Danny looked hesitant as she too cocked her gun. 

"I think maybe I should at least stand here. Kirsch may be an idiot sometimes, but remember, he was the leader of his squadron." Carmilla nodded, but wasted no time in turning to where she assumed Laura was. Danny grabbed her shoulder,

"Hey," She said, "Don't push yourself okay? I don't want a redo of last time we were at a paintball field alright K?" 

Carmilla shook her head, trying to shake off the memory. Danny didn't let go though, she placed her hand on the top of Carmilla's head, like she did before they would go on a mission. 

"Carmilla-I'm serious." At this Carmilla smiled. She then turned on her heals and ran. A boy who was on their team flanked her, which was okay. With Kirsch devising a strategy, the poor boy might not last long. 

// 

The terrain was dusty and reminded Carmilla of Iraq. A place she didn't have to spend long but still remember. The boy's name was Ricky, he told her even though she didn't ask, and he looked about nineteen. 

"Well, listen Ricky. Stick close to me and don't talk. Just listen-got that?" Carmilla said as they trudged along. Ricky instantly shut up. From no where a paintball hit him, exploding and making him out. Carmilla quickly surveyed the area and saw one man in a trench not even three yards in front of them, raising her gun Carmilla fired with extreme precision. One bullet was all it took straight to the eye goggles. He fell back and Carmilla figured she shouldn't aim for the head anymore. These weren't SEALs after all. Carmilla turned to Ricky, who's face looked like he'd seen something amazing. 

"Next time, aye kid?" Ricky smiled,

"How did you _do_ that?" He said. A paintball whizzed through the air and passed her head, 

"No time to talk now kid. Get off the field." Carmilla looked up and fired in less then a millisecond. She had just as much accuracy hitting the 'sniper' as she did the ones in the trench. Ricky was gone when she turned back around. She had easily taken out half of Kirsch's team, and now she just had to find the 'flag'. She ran for about a minuet more before, she saw it. The flag. It was tucked in between two wooden boards. High in the air, obviously Kirsch's doing. Laura stood in front of it. Alone. That must have meant Kirsch had gone for Carmilla's flag. That's what she thought anyway. A paintball ran straight beside her ear. Not touching her, but alerting her to the person behind her. Kirsch smiled. 

"Getting to rusty there Carmilla. You didn't even know I was tailing you since you got your little lackey back there." Oh. _Oh_.

" _You_ shot him?" Carmilla questioned. She was stalling. Both of their fingers were over their triggers. Looked like the conversation wasn't going to last long. Kirsch shrugged, his smile still very much present. 

"What can I say-I'm good," A thud made Kirsch's smile drop. He turned around to find Danny. His back had a purple splatter on it. Danny smiled, 

"Not good enough babe," She strut over, "You honestly thought I'd let my best friend go with only a teenager for backup? I noticed you the moment you stationed yourself behind Carmilla." Kirsch furrowed his brow. Danny turned to Carmilla,

"He also took out our other player. You were always a good shot Kirsch, but never a silent one." Kirsch grinned. 

"Yeah, but you love me." Danny turned as red as her hair. Wait. Wait. What. Danny caught Carmilla's eyes and saw the question, 

"No time K! You got a flag to capture." Carmilla bobbed her head up and down and took off toward Laura. When she got in eye site, she noticed Laura's back was to her. She wasn't gonna shoot her while her back was to Carmilla. That didn't seem fair (And maybe Carmilla was a bit biased) she knew she was just supposed to shoot. Just do it. Don't think about it. But she at least had to get Laura's attention. 

"Laura!" She yelled. The smaller girl turned and immediately fired, haphazardly and obviously because she was startled. Carmilla leaned back, way back actually. She bent at the knees and slid across the remanding space between them. When she pulled herself up she was right in front of Laura. Face to face. Her hand reached out toward the flag. Their faces were inches from each other. She could smell the rain and hay on Laura. 

"I can't shoot you this close," Laura breathed. Carmilla smiled and licked her lips. She grabbed the flag after standing on her tip toes. Laura got this look in her eyes, 

"But I can shoot _her_ ," Carmilla didn't react fast enough, Laura shot and Danny fell. Literally fell. Carmilla didn't think she just ran to her, game or not. Danny growled waving the brunette away, 

"What are you doing, you've got the flag. It's just a game! Go!" But it was to late. Carmilla looked behind her shoulder, Laura had her Spyder up. 

"Make your peace, cutie." She smiled, and pulled the trigger

They lost. 

// 

She didn't flash. She felt the anxiety come over her when she got hit but she didn't have a flash back. As soon as the horn blew to signal the game was over Danny had sprinted over and pulled Carmilla up. 

"You idiot. You should have left me." Carmilla looked down.

"Nobody gets left behind," She mumbled. Danny gave a sad smile and patted Carmilla's head, 

"Or forgotten." Kirsch ran up at that time, throwing his arm around them, 

"That was fucking awesome! Little hottie-I mean Laura's got some moves!" Laura walked up to them too. 

"Thank you Kirsch. You weren't so bad yourself. Luring both of them out there." Carmilla turned surprised to hear that. 

"Say what now?" She asked, as they all walked off the field. Laura giggled and Kirsch grinned like the man-child he was. 

"It was all Laura's plan from the get go!" He explained excitedly, "I told her there was no way Danny would let you, Little K, go out on your own. So, Laura suggested a psych plan! I positioned myself so Danny could see me. Then I took out the other girl on your team. Once I did that, I tracked you and Ricky before giving him the boot. I figured you'd find our other two team mates and you would think that was who had shot him. When you saw Laura it was time I made my reveal. Had to sacrifice myself of course. Though we had no idea you'd get the flag before getting hit. That matrix move by the way was so cool! After which we had to go to plan B, work with your Achilles heal. Your teammate. Laura figured if she could get you far enough from her she could shoot, but oh man, I had no idea, she planned it so well."

Carmilla looked at Laura and rose her eyebrows, Laura blushed and shrugged, 

"I told you I'd played before." Danny laughed, 

"We were tricked! Next time I get Hollis on my team." Kirsch desperately hugged Laura's head, 

"No way Little Nerd is mine!"

Laura smiled, 

"Sorry guys, next time, I'm teaming up with Carm." Laura slipped her hand in Carmilla's again. Carmilla smirked, 

"Hell yeah, and we're gonna kick you guys' ass!" 

It was happening a lot more those days. Carmilla was happy. She learned that it was dangerous to be in bliss at a very young age. But in the truck, as Laura held her hand across the console and her two best friends sat in the bed, laughing, living and breathing...well she figured she could hang on to this for a little longer. Just for that day. She watched Laura's hair blow in the wind, and as she sang softly to the radio, Carmilla got the over whelming sense of...peace. Laura looked over at her and smiled, not a big smile. But it was soft, like her skin. She looked like she was about to say something when,

" _Holy shit Carmilla!_ There's an IHOP!" Kirsch yelled. Danny opened the window separating the bed from the inside of the truck. 

"We haven't gotten to go this month Karnstein we gotta go!" 

Laura rose her eyebrows as Carmilla stopped at a stop light. She turned to the smaller girl, 

"Do you like IHOP?" Laura looked up as if in deep thought, 

"I don't know, never been." 

"WHAT?" The three SEALs said, simultaneously. Carmilla made a U-turn and pulled into the IHOP parking lot. Laura snickered,

"I guess I'm in for a treat?"

// 

Laura loved it, (of course who doesn't love breakfast food?) and as they drove back to the farmer's house Laura excitedly talked about their french toast. When they pulled into the Farmer's gravel road Carmilla felt nervous for some reason. The air seemed to become thick with tension. Carmilla got out to open Laura's door, 

"M'lady." She said teasingly. Laura got out and returned the smile Carmilla hadn't noticed on her own face. Laura turned to Danny and Kirsch, 

"It was nice to meet you two." She said. The two agreed, and said it was mutual. 

As Carmilla and Laura walked up the drive, Laura took Carmilla's hand for what felt like the millionth time that day. Carmilla looked at Laura then quickly away, and to the sky. 

"I always loved the sky," She said softly, "When I was young my dad would take me out side and show me the constellations. He got me a book on them and everything."

Laura squeezed the older girls hand,

"One day you should show me them." Carmilla looked at Laura again. Her eye bright and full of what Carmilla could only call hope. 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. We could...Stargaze and drink champagne." 

They had reached Laura's front door. And the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. 

"I think I'd like that very much," Carmilla trailed off and looked at Laura's lips. Her so very soft looking lips. Laura was also glancing between Carmilla's eyes and lips. Good. She wanted this too. Carmilla brought her hand up and slowly brushed Laura's cheek. They were a breadths width apart, 

"I'm gonna kiss you now...it that okay?" Carmilla whispered. Laura nodded and closed her eyes, leaning in.

A snap of the porch light coming back on made the two jump apart. The door of to the house opened and there stood the farmer. He grinned like he was completely oblivious to what he had just about interrupted-or maybe he really was oblivious. Laura smiled an apologetic smile, the moment gone. 

"Camella! Care to come in?" The farmer asked. Shadow barked beside him. 

"Uh-uh, n-no sir. I've got, um, guest so I best skip out tonight." Carmilla looked to Laura one more time, "Rêve de moi." 

A soft sound almost like a gasp came from Laura, then she blushed, 

"I always do." 

The farmer looked very bemused by the whole situation. 

"Yes goodnight Karnstein," he supplied and both he and Laura went inside. Carmilla couldn't stop the dopey smile that fell across her face. 

_'I always do,'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://miriammtthis.tumblr.com/
> 
>  
> 
> IF GOOGLE TRANSLATE DIDN'T FAIL ME-Rêver de moi-IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN 'DREAM OF ME' WHO THE HELL KNOWS THOUGH. I'm gonna tell you a story real quick here, so I have just been like completely uninspired (yahknow when you wanna write and know what you WANT to write but you can't?) Ok well I finally got inspired and was a paragraph from getting done WhEN MY COmPUTEr SHUT DOWN. To do this stupid windows ten update. Anyway, it saved my stuff but, that's why it's so late.
> 
> Update: I was thankfully told the correct way of spelling dream of me by a wonderful person in the comments! So it should be correct now!


	9. The Ceremony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM ALIIIVE! Also
> 
> You're welcome

   Saturday. It rolled around faster then Carmilla could blink. Slothfully she pulled herself from her uncomfortable twin bed. The springs creaking and her bones popping as she stretched.

Pulling herself upright, Carmilla chanced a look in her body sized mirror. She wore a baggy black shirt out of comfort. She wore the grey joggers to avoid her scar. An ugly, splotchy mark protruded in a painful reminder of that day. When she ran her fingers over the familiar pattern, she could feel the difference between the smooth, untouched skin and the corse scar the marred her upper thigh.

   "Get it together Karnstein," she said to herself. Her voice horse and small. She _felt_  small. She then slipped the warming dog tags over her head, holding them close to her heart.

  "I wish you were here," she spoke softly. To her father she supposed, but yet she looked around and still all that surrounded her was her childhood bedroom.

A knock came at the door.

   "How are you holding up?"

Mattie's voice met Carmilla's ears. She turned toward the older girl. Mattie was dressed in a freshly pressed black blazer and pencil skirt. Carmilla breathed in and out in huffy reply. Mattie smiled understandingly, and came up behind her younger sister. Kindly she squeezed her shoulders.

  "It'll be over before you know it. Hang in there."

Carmilla shrugged and glanced back at the mirror, grazing her fingers across where she knew the scar was hidden.

//

   " _You're doing good Carmilla." A voice encourages gently behind you. The doctor...physical therapists or whatever. Your breath labours as you try to pull yourself across the cold beams. They came up to your waste so you could easily rest your hands against them. Except easy was not what was happening. Your leg cried out from the stress and beads of sweat formed on your head._

_Two hours of this every two weeks. Your doctor(who's name you never cared to remember) was constantly telling you how good you've gotten. But you wouldn't consider being able to hobble with assistance from Danny's couch to the bathroom 'progress'._

_Danny herself perched on the edge of a plastic chair in the office. Kirsch was there two but had gone to the vending machine. They had been so supportive and you hated it. You especially hated when you were getting groceries and a kid would point at you in your wheel chair. It wasn't the kid themselves but what the adult would say under their hushed breath,_

_"That's not nice Billy, she's 'handicapped',"_

_"No no Ann. We need to be kind to her. See? She's a vet."_

_"Tucker! You stop that, she can't help she can't walk!"_

_And any other sentence that made you feel less like a person and more like a display case. Everyone come see the wounded soldier! Oh so brave! You hate it._

_You stumble a bit and Danny jolts forward. The doctor raises his hand as to stop her. Slowly you hoist yourself back upright._

_"I think she's done." Danny says, her voice full of worry. The doctor turns to you,_

_"Carmilla?"_

_You've almost made it to the other end of the beams and if you make it there you only have to do an hour of this torture each week forward._

_"I'm okay." You grunt, and lift the wounded leg. The moment you place pressure on it, it gives and you fall. You swear you see stars as pain shoots through your calf and to your thigh._

_Danny's there,_

_"I told you she's done," she growled and tried to help you into your wheel chair, "are you okay K?"_

_But you don't answer. You just blink away the forming tears and stare straight ahead. You try not to think about the possibility of never walking by yourself again._ -

//

Carmilla pushes away the past as Mattie kisses her head and walks out. She had explained how Will was meeting them at the auditorium and told Carmilla not to be late.

The _ceremony_ Carmilla could do. It was the after celebration that she dreaded. But Mattie couldn't be in town for more then a week without planning a party and the occasion just _happened_  to be the same weekend.

  In an almost robotic fashion Carmilla got dressed in her Service Dress Whites. She stared in the mirror again at the woman in the clean suit. Solemnly she placed the hat over her head and stood straighter. Lastly she pulled on her soft gloves and saluted herself.

   "2-0-2-A," she whispered, and turned in practice toward where the helm of a boat would be.

   "2-129-2-E." She spoke again and turned toward the opposite direction.

   "At the ready-" she pulled an invisible rifle up, and in pulling the imaginary trigger, "...fire."

_Bam bam_

The sound shook Carmilla as she realized it to be coming from the front door. She grabbed her phone and marched over to answer it. When she had, the noise revealed itself to be two suited people. A tan man, with a scruffy brown beard and his eyebrows low over his beady eyes. And the other a mixed woman with short, dark, curly hair.

The man held up a card quickly,

   "I am CIA Agent Struat and this is my partner Agent Matthews,"

The mans voice was deep and sounded foreign, perhaps Russian, "we are looking for a-" he paused like he couldn't remember the name,

   "-William Karnstein." Finished Agent Matthews. She also sounded foreign though it was as if she was from the UK and was losing her accent. A dark Suburban was parked in the small driveway next to the muscle car Carmilla rarely drove.

   "Sorry. Will is out. Can I help you?" She said. Agent Struat narrowed his already small eyes.

  "We'll come back." Agent Matthews smiled apologetically. The man simply nodded and turned to leave.

What had Will done to get the CIA on his tail? Carmilla didn't dare to wonder.

//

When Carmilla pulled up to the large theatre/auditorium/ _whatever_ thirty minutes later the parking lot was packed. She didn't even know that many people. Damn Will and Mattie. Didn't they get the fact she hated everyone.

Well... _almost_  everyone.

And the exception was standing at the door, soft evening light making her eyes break into a million gold pieces like it often did.

Laura.

Carmilla walked over, a bit hesitantly. She didn't quite know how to approach someone she'd almost kissed.

When Laura saw her, however, and the smile that made her nose crinkle graced her pink cheeks, well, Carmilla probably looked like a crazy person with how widely she grinned back.

Laura wore a white dress that came just above her knees. She had a thin over coat because of the season and she wore tasteful flats. No hat. But she didn't need it.

Once the two came face to face Laura rolled back on her heals and bit her lip, looking Carmilla up and down.

Carmilla could see the red start at the base of Laura's neck and bloom across her face to her ears. Carmilla rose her eyebrow,

   "See something you like?" She teased. Laura wet her lips for the third time and gulped,

   "Hot _damn_." She mumbled under her breath. Carmilla laughed, and wondered if she looked like that when Laura wore her cowgirl hat.

   "Thank you, I think." She smirked playfully at the smaller girl. Laura seemed to find her barring's with a shake of her head.  
  
   "Um, yeah anyway-my dads inside so...I'm gonna go find him." She stuttered.

Carmilla's face dropped a little,

   "I wish you could be up there with me." She said without thinking. Laura frowned, reaching out and taking Carmilla's gloved hand.

   "I'll be out in the audience. Just look at me." Then, as if trying to not psych herself out, Laura leaned up and brushed her lips against Carmilla's cheek. Immediately, Carmilla felt warm. The smell of dry hay and suntanning lotion filled her senses.  
  
When she opened her eyes, Laura was gone, along with the warmth.

Drums began from inside the building-that was her cue. She pulled open the double doors and walked in.

//

The ceremony was not short. It was very, _very_ , long. Carmilla's commanding officer could talk for ages about the simplest things. Every time Carmilla felt a flash coming on she would look to the crowd and find those soft brown eyes. Finally the ceremony had been completed once the commanding officer pinned the small badge over Carmilla's heart.

 

 That's how Carmilla found herself out in the courtyard of the Biltmore House, music playing and people she didn't know talking around her. She often got congratulated or worse asked for a picture. Eventually, Carmilla found Kirsch and Danny also dressed in their whites. Danny was giggling as Kirsch poked her nose.  
  
Neither noticed the brunette creeping behind them.

   "Hello, gross and grosser." She patted them both on the shoulder. Both sprung apart hands coming up as to attack the intruder. Carmilla grabbed both their arms easily.

   "Calm down you two. You'd think you were hiding something," Carmilla chuckled. The two blushed, Danny looked like she was about to explain when Carmilla brushed her off.

   "Don't sweat it. As long as this idiot keeps you happy."

Danny smiled at Kirsch, his oblivious smile in place. She took his hand and looked back at Carmilla,

   "He really does K. I love him."

Kirsch's smile went ear to ear,

   "Aww, I love you too, D-bear,"

   " _Gross_ " Carmilla groaned, but her heart ached for that happiness. Just then out of the corner of her eye, Carmilla saw Laura beckoning to her. Kirsch and Danny snickered knowingly as Carmilla walked swiftly towards the blonde.

Before she could get there someone stepped between them.

   "Dr. Lafontaine." Carmilla greeted, but someone else caught her attention -beside- Laf. They held up their intertwined hands.

   "And wife." They smiled. Carmilla gaped, and held out her hand,

   "Dr. Perry-I-I had no idea you were here." Carmilla stumbled slightly over her words.

There she stood.

Dr. Lola Perry in all her frizzy, red, glory. The woman who saved Carmilla's life. What do you do when you meet that person? Not that she hadn't met her, but Carmilla was on a lot of pain meds for a while...

   "An honour to see you again, Karnstein." Perry smiled and shook the awaiting hand. Carmilla was sure she looked like a fish with how her mouth hung open.

  "Stop looking at her like that Carmilla, she already's got a god complex," Lafontaine joked. Perry playfully elbowed Laf. That, even though a joke did snap Carmilla out of her awing. She glanced around herself hoping to find-

 _Laura_ , standing at the side of the Vanderbilt building, holding a platter of chocolate covered strawberries.  
She rose her eyebrows and turned the corner. Carmilla swallowed, for her throat had gone completely dry.

   "I'm sorry, I really would like to talk sometime but, I-" she left the sentence there, and tilted her head toward where Laura had been. Perry nodded understandingly,

"Of course. Please," she held out her hand to where Carmilla now excused herself.

//

When Carmilla found Laura she was sitting far from the people, and noise. She was on an old two person swing under a large tree. The strawberries sat untouched in her lap and she smiled sweetly up at Carmilla.

   "Hey," she greeted. Carmilla stopped before the wooden swing as Laura scooted to make room.

   "These whites are hard to clean, you know that right cupcake?" She questioned pulling at her uniform. Laura pouted and with a huff, Carmilla sat.

   "Okay so your gonna hate me for this but...I got you something." Laura squeaked.

   "I could never hate you." Carmilla replied instantly. Laura froze, looking into Carmilla's dark eyes.

  "Um, um, yes, so here." Laura quickly changed the subject and pulled out a stuffed dog. A rat terrier to be exact. The colour wasn't right and its tail wasn't docked but it made Carmilla choke up.

   "Is this to weird? This is weird right?" She squabbled trying to reach for the blush toy. Carmilla pulled away,

   "No, no." She managed, "it's, ehem, it's the best thing I've gotten in a while." She wiped her eyes. Laughing a bit hysterical she placed the animal beside her.

   "Sorry. I got a little emotional." She laughed again. Laura shook her head,

   "Never feel like you have to apologise for having feelings. Not with me." Laura said, "on a lighter note-strawberry?" She held one up, but when Carmilla reached for it Laura pulled back, then smiled in a way Carmilla had never seen. But she'd pay to see it again. Laura leaned back in and held the berry to Carmilla's mouth.

Carmilla came to the conclusion that they were not simply eating strawberries, because when Carmilla bit into it and hummed? Well, Laura's coy smile dropped and her mouth fell open. Her eyes grew dark. After Carmilla had taken the first bite, Laura took the second and if the strawberry eating was innocent before it was _not_ after Laura took a bite.

And something snapped in Carmilla. Patience, a pure mind, whatever the fuck it was that had been there before, was gone.

Silently Carmilla removed her hat and put the berries on the ground. Laura asked a slightly taken aback,  
  
   "Why did you take off your hat?" She had asked but she knew the answer. Carmilla brushed hair away from the small girls face and answered in barely a whisper, 

 "Because I'm going to kiss you."

 

And she did.

When their lips touched something ignited deep within Carmilla. She pressed forward, desperately trying to slow the kiss so she could remember it. She wanted to remember that moment on a constant loop.

The feeling of Laura's hands pulling at the pins in Carmilla's done up bun, letting the hair fall. The way Laura pulled herself up and onto Carmilla's lap, licking into Carmilla's mouth boldly. A low moan came from one of them, but Carmilla couldn't tell who it was. Their breathing became ragged, as every time Carmilla pulled back Laura would follow her lips.

She gently ran her hands down Laura's back and squeezed her thighs. _That moan_. _That_ was definitely Laura. Carmilla hadn't noticed Laura some how get her bow tie and first two buttons undone.

   "Laura. Laura stop." Carmilla panted. Laura drew back without hesitancy.

   "Did I-did I over step I'm sorry. I should have-have..." Laura flushed profusely. Carmilla shook her head,

   "It's not that. Honestly and truly that was amazing."

Laura looked relieved.

   "But we're on an old swing, at the Biltmore Estate that has cameras and-and," Carmilla paused and looked at her hands still on Laura's thighs, "I want to take you on a date first. And give you the whole ordeal. Big bed, roses, wine,"

Laura was giggling as she placed her head against Carmilla's.

   "Breakfast in the morning?" She questioned. Carmilla kissed the tip of the Laura's nose,

   "Only the best of the best."

Laura's smile grew to Carmilla's favourite one, then it quickly fell,

   "Because I know you're here to work and you're working for my dad and your not just doing it for me-"

Carmilla gently took Laura's face in her hands.

   "Don't be an idiot," Carmilla murmured, "of course I'm doing it for you."

Another grin fell across Laura's face.

   "Kiss me again?" Laura said wistfully.

   "Gladly," Carmilla replied.  
  
So she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "But Mirm! Where's the siiin?" 
> 
> okay calm down. Patience grass hopper. 
> 
> Anyway yes, please come and talk to me! 
> 
> http://miriammtthis.tumblr.com
> 
> Also if you live anywhere other then NC you should look up the Biltmore House, or just imagine a big mansion...naturey place.


	10. Runnin' Outta Moonlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY I HAVE A BETA AND SHE WRITES TOO HER AO3 NAME IS WITHER SO YOU SHOULD GO READ HER STORY AS WELL OKAY HAVE A LOVELY DAY <3

Carmilla liked very few things. She liked the smell of black coffee in the mornings; she liked the sound of an old book being opened, it's pages crinkling slightly. She liked poems in different languages and she liked chocolate frosting. She secretly enjoyed Kirsch and Danny's endless talking, even if she didn't say it often. But recently Carmilla found something better than all of those things.

Carmilla liked kissing Laura.

In fact, she found it was one of her all time favorite things. Especially when she would get done working and Laura would drag Carmilla into Will's truck and kiss her senseless. Farmer Hollis had yet to find out about their...activities. Carmilla supposed thats all that she could call it at the moment, considering she and Laura had not talked about what they were. Well, they didn't spend much time talking at all if Carmilla thought about it.

And for the time being Carmilla was okay with that.

As days passed, Carmilla's mind seemed solely focused on Laura and didn't seem to notice Will at the house less and less. Or Mattie's short visit turning into an almost permanent thing. Or when Carmilla would come in late and the two siblings would be hunched together talking in low voices. She hadn't seen the mysterious CIA agents again but she knew they had most likely been back. But Carmilla wanted to be selfishly in bliss for a while longer, just her and Laura.

So as the days and kisses got longer, Carmilla found herself once again in Will's truck with Laura. Laura was not at all shy about her wandering hands, or bold grinding down, which would make Carmilla almost cave in. Almost. Maybe it was because Carmilla wanted their first time to be special, or maybe she needed to make sure Laura was one-hundred percent ready. Or, like the voice in the back of Carmilla's head said, she wanted to be sure Laura didn't just want the sex. Which was stupid, and Carmilla knew it. But she also was aware of how people saw her.

"Okay you, I think it's time I go home," 

Carmilla said, breathlessly. She hesitantly pulled the smaller girl's hands from where they were stroking the bit of flesh showing under Carmilla's shirt. Laura leaned back, a pout on her face. She had been straddling Carmilla, but, regardless of her advances, respected Carmilla's choices.

Carmilla chuckled, and ran her thumb over the crease between Laura's eyebrows, then let her hand cup her cheek.

"You will be the end of my Hollis." 

Carmilla joked. Laura smiled softly, before her eyes lit up,

"Oh my god! I almost forgot to ask you!"

Carmilla cocked an eyebrow waiting for Laura to continue.

"Would you like to go out with me tonight?" 

Laura had looked down at her hands when she said this. Almost as if she was worried Carmilla would say no. Instead Carmilla grinned back,

"You almost forgot to ask me that?"

Laura playfully pushed Carmilla's shoulders,

"Hey! You're really distracting." She defended. 

Carmilla rolled her eyes and sat back up,

"I'll have to check my calendar first, you know all my friends here just keep hounding me to hang out."

Laura giggled,

"Well blow them off. Tell them you have plans. I will make it worth your while." 

She bit her lip suggestively. Okay so maybe Carmilla was okay with whatever they were. She really liked Laura. And as her dad would say, 'you can only get your heart broken, if you take a chance.' To some people, that would sound like her dad was saying don't take risks, but Carmilla never saw it that way. So Carmilla pretended to check a fake calendar before nodding her head,

"I'll have to move back brooding in my room, but I think I can do it,"

She then smiled the smile only reserved for Laura. Laura squealed and brought their mouths back together. Before Laura could slip her tongue back into Carmilla's mouth, Carmilla pulled back and raised her eyebrows,

"Sneaky, sneaky. I _do_ have to go however. Will's been calling me since I got to work, so I should go make sure he didn't blow up the oven." She said, only half-serious.

"I will pick you up at eight-thirty then. Dress warm."

Laura gave her one last kiss before saying goodbye and getting out.

//

When Carmilla pulled up to the house, two black SUV's sat next to Carmilla's dark blue Mustang and Mattie's white Chevrolet Camaro. What was odd, beside the obvious was that Mattie was there before five in the evening. Which hadn't happened since she graduated high school. Carmilla parked just in time to see Will being escorted by two people, a man and a woman, in suits. Carmilla recognised them both as Agent Struat and Matthews. Behind them, Mattie followed, talking adamantly with her hands.

Carmilla quickly unbuckled and got out, her stomach sinking at Will's down trodden face. One more man walked out of the house. His black hair was slicked completely back, and thick rimmed glasses circled his eyes. He was skinny and pale, and unlike the other two wore a button up and brown tie. He noticed Carmilla, as she stormed over and placed his hand out.

"Ah, you must be Carmilla?" 

He sounded from upstate, maybe New York or perhaps even Main. Carmilla ignored his hand,

"What the fuck is going on?" She snarled. The man raised both hands in defense. Mattie was still talking to Agent Matthews, while Agent Struat forced Will into one of the black cars.

"We, um, we got a tip that there was terrorist activity from Mr. William there." The pale man explained, "I'm Agent Oir. But most people call me John-"

"I don't give a shit what your name is! Will has done nothing wrong. Who gave you this tip?" 

Carmilla growled, her hands balling up into fists. The Agent stepped back, and looked nervously toward Agent Matthews, who was having a hard time trying to calm down Mattie. It all seemed so surreal.

Too much. Mattie seemed to notice Carmilla finally and turned from Agent Matthews.

"Carmilla I-"

"What exactly is going on!" 

Carmilla's voice had risen quite a bit. Her happy mood from seeing Laura long forgotten. Agent Oir had backed up and looked like he was going to make a break for the cars.

"Thank you for your cooperation. We will be in touch."

Was all Matthews said. With that she turned and climbed in after Agent Struat and Oir, Will leaning his head against the dark tinted window. Once they drove off, Carmilla rounded on Mattie.

"What the hell Mattie?" 

Her voice cracked. She was confused, and a little scared. She'd dealt with the CIA in Special Ops, and they weren't her best friends. Mattie exhaled, and closed her eyes. When she opened them, she looked a lot calmer than before. Her composure back in place.

"Let's discuss this inside."

//

They sat at the two person metal table in what seemed like a never ending silence. They were in said silence for thirty minutes before Carmilla almost couldn't take it.

"We should have told you." 

Mattie spoke quietly. It was unnerving to Carmilla to see her sister like this. Her shoulders hung low and eyes fell on the dark table. Carmilla had also calmed down, by this time and sighed,

"Yeah...that would have been nice. I must admit, driving home and seeing Will arrested again for something he didn't even do, is not on my favorites list."

Mattie nodded, solemnly. Silence again.

"I think it was mother." 

Mattie spoke again, almost in a whisper, 

"that put in that tip."

Carmilla's head snapped up.

"But she's in prison." 

Carmilla countered, but the wheels were already turning in her head. Mattie wasn't convinced,

"She has connections Micarlla, she's _always_ had connections."

Silence. Too much damn silence. Carmilla's breathing became shallow. The last thing she remembered was Mattie saying her name.

//

_"Hey Little K."_

_Kirsch said. Your back was against the cold wall, and your head in your hands. You didn't want him to see you like this. What you really wanted...was your dad back._

_"Go away," you tried to sound angry, but your voice broke. Kirsch slumped down beside you, and pulled you into a hug. At first you tried to push him off, but you'd been crying to much to have any force behind your actions. You shove at him weakly and when you stopped pushing him you instead just let go. Breaking down into the inevitable tears._

_"There you go bro. Just let it out."_

_Kirsch patted your head, his voice calming. You sniff and sit up after you'd cried for a good while._

_"Sorry," You apologise,_

_"I just have some shit going on with my family."_

_You told him. Kirsch nodded and glanced to the side,_

_"Oh, I get it. My parents are all on my case about marrying in rich, but I..."_

_He trailed off and smiled at you. You shake your head,_

_"You are way too good to be messed up in the Special Ops, Kirsch. We come here to get away." You said._

_"Well, we all got stuff on our plates K, some are just more aggressive than others..." He stopped. Then reached into his knapsack he always had with him, and pulled out a CD._

_"Here you go little bro, for your bad days."_

_You gave him a tight smile and took the CD._

_"Thanks Kirsch. You've actually helped a lot."_

_Kirsch got up and smiled his puppy dog grin,_

_"Don't sound so surprised. I gotta go though, I'm on watch."_

 

//

When Carmilla woke up, she was in her bed. Her clock read seven-forty.

"Shit." 

She said to herself. Her date (date?) with Laura was less than thirty minutes and she was a mess. When she stood, the weight of Will being arrested hit her. Maybe she should cancel. No. No she wouldn't do that to Laura. And she needed this. She needed to get out of that house and back to what made her feel safe. And that was Laura.

Mattie had left to do god knows what, so the house was eerily quiet. Carmilla looked in her full body mirror. Dress warm, Laura had said. How is one supposed to look good and dress warm at the same time. Carmilla assumed dressing warm ment they would be outside and while she had no problem with it she did have a very big problem trying to pick out a nice looking warm outfit. She settled for her leather pants and a dark green long sleeved hoodie. She put a beanie on for good measure but figured it would get knocked off. Laura liked to run her hands through Carmilla's hair. Not that she was complaining.  
She brushed her teeth and tried to get the tangles out from her hair, by the time it was eighty-twenty she felt pretty much like her old self. Except for the awful feeling this was only the beginning of the storm coming towards them. A knock at the door, made Carmilla come crashing back to reality.

She took a deep breath and opened the door to a very jittery Laura. She was bundled up in a tan winter jacket, and her nose was slightly pink. The cold weather hit Carmilla and she wondered if maybe leather pants weren't the best choice. Dammit North Carolina, make up your mind on the weather.

"Hey cupcake." 

Carmilla greeted. Laura immediately picked up on Carmilla's downcast greeting. It didn't hold her usual coy smirk, or her cheesy smile. Laura didn't ask questions, she just reached out and tugged Carmilla into a hug.

"We don't have to hang out . If it's not a good time for you." 

She said gently. Carmilla shook her head against Laura's shoulder,

"I don't wanna be alone tonight," 

She murmured. Laura nodded and led Carmilla out to her own truck.

//

The ride was quiet but Laura held Carmilla's hand across the middle seat and it calmed her. Just the slightest touch and Carmilla felt okay. Felt safe. When they drove past the Farmer's driveway Carmilla realized she had no idea where they were going. Laura glanced over at her, as if she was nervous, and turned on the radio. Country music played softly and Laura sang along mostly to herself, as if trying to steel those nerves.

"What song is this?" 

Carmilla asked. They had started the night off on a kind of dark note, and Carmilla wanted this-their first official date to be a good, and happy occasion. Laura smiled,

"I think it's Runnin' Outta Moonlight. By Randy Houser."

"Oh?" 

Carmilla smiled back, 

"Yeah, I don't know who he is. But it's a nice song." 

Laura nodded and made a left turn. It reminded Carmilla of the trail they took the horses on. When they parked on the same hill, overlooking the ranch, Carmilla figured out this was the exact path they'd taken the horses on.

Laura got out and gathered what looked like a blanket from the back of the truck, as well as a brand new looking telescope. Carmilla gasped and got out of the car as well.

"I remember you said you liked constellations, so...I figured we could look at some and if you want..." she paused and licked her lips,

"We could watch the sunrise too." 

Carmilla couldn't help the goofy grin that had spread over her face.

"Yes, that sounds wonderful." 

She took Laura's hand and kissed it. Laura beamed,

"Come on _cutie_ , we're running out of moonlight." 

Carmilla rolled her eyes,

"Cupcake you are so lame."

"Yeah, but you love me," 

Laura teased and turned to set the telescope up.

And maybe... she was completely right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bare with me people. Sadley, plot must come into play sometime. I promise the next chapter will be very, very worth the wait :D
> 
> Come talk to me if you like! 
> 
>  
> 
> http://miriammtthis.tumblr.com/


	11. One Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're welcome again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew whatta a pause, sorry bout it guys but I hope to get back to posting. 
> 
> I hope you all have a lovely day! <3

"And that ones Orion." 

"I think that's the Big Dipper, Cupcake." 

Laura chuckled and shrugged. She glanced at Carmilla and brought the thin champagne glass up to her lips. 

Laura had really gone all out for this date. Beside the telescope, which was amazing in its self, she had cooked a fantastic meal and brought champagne. She brought pillows too, which if Carmilla had laughed saying, 

"Presumptuous aren't we?" 

Laura had blushed and stuttered over some excuse. Carmilla effectively silenced the rambling by kissing her. That was about an hour prior to their current state.

They were currently snuggled up, in the back of Laura's truck. With Laura's back to Carmilla's front the two took turns looking through the telescope. A fort of blankets wrapped around them.

Carmilla sighed at the pleasantness of it all. 

\- William.-

Guilt gripped her for a moment as Carmilla thought how happy she was. And how miserable Will must be. 

"Hey," Laura spoke, breaking Carmilla's stupor. She looked at the younger girl, Laura's soft brown eyes shining in the moonlight, "do you wanna talk?" She asked. 

Carmilla debated it. She didn't want to ruin this. She didn't want to make it about her and not about both of them. A hand landed on her knee and squeezed gently. 

"Don't feel like you have to. Just putting it out there." 

Carmilla smiled and kissed Laura's forehead. 

"It's just...my family. Will might be in some legal trouble." She explained, busing her hands with a lose string on the blanket. Laura gingerly took the cold fingers and placed a peck on Carmilla's knuckle.

"I'm so sorry." She said. Carmilla brought up her other hand, brushing the silky locks back out of Laura's face, and leaving it on the back of her neck. 

"There's not much I can do I'm afraid. You have nothing to be sorry about." Carmilla said, tilting her head, "can we...can we just focus on us tonight though?" 

Laura nodded.

Carmilla placed a line of kisses from Laura's jaw to her cheek, then mimicked the actions on the other side. 

"Good." She said in a hushed tone.

Laura giggled, as Carmilla repeated the pattern several times. The third time Laura caught the brunette's lips with her own. A gasp rose from Carmilla's throat when Laura bit her bottom lip and pulled slightly.  
When they broke apart Laura brushed Carmilla's bangs back, a mischievous grin crossing her face. 

Bringing their mouths back together Laura moved to straddle the older girl. Though, she did this, the kiss itself was soft, and gentle. Like a whispered song that only the two of them knew. A dance they'd practice every day of their lives, and sometimes when kissing Laura, it felt like it. Felt like Carmilla had always been doing this. Always searching for Laura, and the safety, the warmth, the -passion- she brought with her. 

Carmilla broke them apart again, their breathing in synch with each other. Laura blinked a few times, and this time her smile was small and unsure. Carmilla smiled back, the reserved one, just for Laura. For that moment of silence it was pretty clear but both were thinking. Carmilla had let her fingers fall to the zipper of Laura's jacket and fiddle with it for a bit. Never breaking the eye contact the two held. 

"Only if you want," said Laura, "I mean I know it's not the bed thing you wanted and it's like thirty-eight degrees out here, and-and-" Carmilla cut her off again with her lips. 

"It's perfect, Laura." She said softly, and slowly unzipped her own jacket. She smirked, as Laura's eyes widened a bit, "and I don't think keeping warm is gonna be an issue." 

Laura kissed her hurriedly, putting an end to the conversation.

//

Carmilla was no stranger to sex. Not one bit. When she was younger she took pride in that. Now it was something she didn't really talk about. But it was different with Laura. 

Laura who dragged her mouth down Carmilla's body and made her own constellations in dark purples and blues.  
Laura who had touched her and made supernovas explode behind Carmilla's eyelids.  
Laura who made Carmilla beg, and plead until the brunette was a shaking mess. Or Laura who had brought Carmilla to a climax on her tongue and then kissed her so soundly, it spoke so many words that hadn't been uttered between them yet. And maybe it was to early to say them aloud, but it didn't need to be not yet. 

-Laura, Laura, Laura- 

But of course Carmilla -had- to return the favour. Cupcake, creampuff, and any other sweet Carmilla called Laura prior was absolutely-nothing- compared to how she really tasted.  
Carmilla had oh so carefully traced a map with her tongue, memorising every whimper, or sigh Laura made. And when she came Carmilla couldn't help but watch, all it took was a come hither motion with her fingers and that's exactly what Laura did.  
She cried out Carmilla's name and Carmilla didn't think she had heard anything more beautiful up until that point. So she played it on repeat.  
Back and forth the two swapped secrets, secrets that had been hidden behind moans and gasps until the neither could tell much more. 

Laura lay, groggily, but sated, in Carmilla's arms. How long they sat listening to the music of the crickets, Carmilla didn't know. Eventually however Laura leaned up, then turned and placed a kiss on Carmilla's head,

"Carm. Carmilla wake up the sun is rising." 

Carmilla yawned and sat up, stretching, and she had to admit she enjoyed the way Laura stared and bit her lip again. 

Snickering, Carmilla pulled Laura's back against her and laid her chin on Laura's shoulder. The sun blazed out on the horizon. 

"Be my girlfriend?" Carmilla whispered. She didn't even mean to say it out loud. She was just thinking how happy she was. Laura smiled a smile that was absolutely dazzling. 

One Carmilla hadn't seen before, 

"Yes, I will definitely be your girlfriend." Laura answered, practically throwing herself at Carmilla, and kissing her.  
"Easy there tiger." The ex-soldier joked once they parted, "you wore me out. I'm gonna need a long nap pretty soon." 

Laura turned her head and scrunched up her nose, 

"Come on. A soldier like you should have tons of stamina." 

Carmilla laughed, 

"Not me. I'm a lazy ass" 

"You're a cute ass" 

"I am not cute. I am the night."

Laura rolled her eyes playfully,

"Alright 'the night', watch the damn sunrise." 

So Carmilla did. And though she'd seen it rise and set hundreds of times, it was much better snuggled up with Laura. Her girlfriend. 

//

Later after the two decided to get themselves up, because,

"Carmilla we have to eat" and 

"Carm, don't be gross." 

They drove back to the Farmer's house holding hands the whole way. It was five-thirty when they pulled into the gravel driveway. 

"Come on." Laura beckoned, then placed her finger to her mouth in a shushing manner. 

"Sweetheart, you're an adult why are we sneaking?" 

Laura slowly opened the door, and glanced around the dim house, before grabbing Carmilla by the hand and pulling her up the stairs to what Carmilla assumed was Laura's room. 

It was a pale purple and was covered in trophies, medals, and pictures. Carmilla leaned in to look at a specific picture. It looked like a brown haired little girl and a gray haired man sitting on the front porch of the Farmer's house. The little girl was dressed down in a plaid shirt and overalls. Dusty boots that looked to big for her were on her feet. The old man was placing a hat, Carmilla recognised onto the little girls head. 

"That's my Papaw and me," 

Carmilla jumped, forgetting that Laura was even there. She had wrapped her arms around Carmilla's torso. 

"He died when I was really little but I got this picture and his hat. It's my favourite to wear." 

Of course it was. Carmilla outwardly groaned, and chided herself mentally. 

"What?" Laura asked. Carmilla turned in Laura's arms. 

"Your hat..." She looked down. Slightly embarrassed by the whole situation, "you kinda turn me on when you wear it." 

Silence followed. Then Laura began to laugh. Not loudly because Randy was still asleep, but still loud enough to make Carmilla's stomach flutter. She looked finally at Carmilla's confused gaze.

"Oh you're serious? I turn you on?" 

Carmilla frowned,

"Don't tell me I'm the first." She said. Laura shrugged,

"All of my exes considered me 'cute' or 'adorable...never..." Laura quirked up her eyebrows to insinuate the last part. 

Carmilla looked at the ceiling, then back to Laura. She still felt incredibly embarrassed, but less so when Laura was looking at her like that,

"Well -I- think," Carmilla started, "you're sexy as hell." 

Laura hummed and leaned up to connect their lips once again. Laura quickly flipped them and pushed Carmilla on Laura's small bed, a sinful glint in her eyes. 

"Well then," she spoke pointedly and grabbed the hat from her bed side table, placing it on her head, " I guess we should see if you really can ride, I-" 

"Laura?" A voice cut threw the air. Randy Hollis was up. Laura squeaked and in a flailing of limbs pushed Carmilla off the bed with a thump.

"Are you okay in there?" Randy asked. 

"Yeah dad-I uh-I'm getting changed and I um, tripped!" She called back. Carmilla lay very still on the ground. She hadn't been hurt she was just surprised and also very sexually frustrated. 

"I was thinking...we could go down to Alfie's Dinner and get some pancakes?" 

"Uh yeah sure dad. Give me...give me just a moment." 

"Okay honey, I'll be downstairs." The sound of footsteps trailed off and Carmilla let out a breath she's apparently been holding. A knock came again,

"Oh and Laura?" 

Laura looked at Carmilla again, and Carmilla pulled a one shoulder shrug. 

"Yes dad?" 

Farmer Hollis slightly chuckled, 

"Tell Carmilla she's welcome to join us too." Then he walked back down the stairs. A panicked look crosses Carmilla's face. 

"Ready to meet my dad as my official girlfriend?" Laura asked, hand outstretched. Carmilla grinned,

"Ready as I'll ever be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna talk!
> 
> http://miriammtthis.tumblr.com
> 
> Edit* it has come to my attention this story has been reposted by a user on tumblr if you notice my story floating around and it's not posted by me or on my own tumblr please report it, thank you


	12. Chapter 12

Hey guys! So a lot of you are probably wondering why I've been kinda off the radar lately and well I can't get into my desktop account. Now, I've contacted Ao3 and they said they'd get it worked out but that was awhile ago, so until I can get that back up and running I can't really post any new chapters!

Hope to continue writing, have a lovely day <3

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it please comment or leave a kudos!


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